End of the season

So the Phillies lost the NLCS *National League Championship Series for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about*... they lost to the San Francisco Giants in the 6th game just like they lost to the Yankees in the 6th game last year in the World Series. Good thing about it is that the Yankees lost the ALCS *figure it out for yourself there homie* and they aren't in the world series either. But the Texas Rangers are going for the first time in franchise history. It will be cool to see Cliff Lee pitching againt Tim Lincecum the strikeout king. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, I just think it will be interesting. My heart lies with the Phillies. Hopefully next year they can do something. I at least hope they go to the post-season.
Anyways, I got a netbook to replace my laptop. To make a stupid story short, I fell and spilled red cherry sugar free koolaid all into it. I fell again. I really like my netbook it's so tiny and portable and I'm used to the keyboard now.
Nothing else new is going on. Frank and I are good, he's asleep in my bed right now... sleeping like a baby... wish I was, but I will... * only time will tell, if we're meant to be... you and i both know, if it's out destiny... forever endeavor...* i love that song so much... it's by taproot... one of my fav bands of all time...
There is something else I want to air out, but I told Darbs most of it already... it just bothers me that some people can act like a child when they're in their 30's... you have kids, you're married! Stay away! Seriously, or I'll fuck you up so bad your face won't ever look the same again and you're already incredibly nasty looking... ah, vent...
Shit I haven't written in my sleep journal for days. I think I'll do that now and wrap up this post... oh yeah I LIKE PANCAKES... the end...
thanks for reading!
-laura
ps- i got thru the anniversary of the accident with flying colors... except today at genuardi's with frankers there was a green 4 door ford explorer parked right next to my shitty car... i was like, dear god, thank you for reminding me i don't have that car anymore... really appreciate it...thumbs up to you...

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga's show was so fucking awesome. I'm still hearing her songs running thru my head today. So the show was last night. I went with my wonderful boyfriend Frank, and we got there a little early. But we got there for the pre-party block party. That was kinda boring... then we went inside *Okay, Frank just said there's something erotic about flaming boobs- yes she did have flaming boobs last night!* Anyways, so we went inside and there was some random dancing dude dancing to all sorts of music on the stage and he was bugging me out big time... so I tried to ignore him... whilst I ate my "dinner" which I couldnt eat really...
So anyways, the band "Semi Precious Weapons" came onstage, and yes, I respect them as a group and as artists with their own sound... but they BLEW... they were funny, well the lead singer was, but seriously, not my kinda music... Although I did like how the lead singer said he wanted to bring back Rock N Roll... which I thoroughly want too... but seriously, not the band for me...
Lady Gaga opened with Dance in the Dark which is Frank's fav song by her so that was awesome for him. She played an array of my fav songs by her and even made "Teeth" into a good song... it was extended too and has a special meaning to it, so now I get it... SHOW ME YOUR TEETH!!! SHOW ME YOUR PAWS!!! Anyways, she sang Telephone and Boys Boys Boys... she played the piano for Speechless and for another new song which I've seen on youtube... She closed the show with Paparazzi and Bad Romance... Overall, it was very energetic and there's stuff I won't share because I don't know who is going to see this and then go to the show and it be ruined, but seriously, like Frank said after the show, Lady Gaga's show is like a religious experience... =)) Awesomeness...

Anyways, the Phillies are 2 games ahead of the Braves now for the NL East. I'm seeing them on Saturday night most likely bringing my boyfriend along too. Yay!!! Even tho my anxiety has been bugging me and my sleep is all fucked up, it's still been a good week...

I got more information about the accident and stuff that I was in almost a year ago now. The other party is sueing my insurance company. Joy. Oh well. My lawyer warned me back in November to expect it. I'm just a little surprised they waited so long. Oh well. I swear theyre stalking me and know I have my license still or something. Whatever. You broke something cos you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I had a lot more complications from that accident than the other party did. I had a nice car, there's was a POS and they needed a new one anyways, so whatevs...

Anyways, thanks for reading!
-laura

Intolerance

Intolerance-Tool
I don't wanna' be hostile.
I don't wanna' be dismal.
And I don't wanna' rot in an apathetic existence.
See I wanna' believe you,
And I wanted to trust you,
And I wanna' have faith to put away the dagger.

But you lie, cheat, and steal.(x3)
And yet I tolerate you?

Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
While I smile and laugh and dance and sing your praise and glory.
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory,

while you lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you?

Our guilt, our blame, I've been far too sympathetic.
Our blood, our fault, I've been far too sympathetic.

I am not innocent.
You are not innocent.
No one is innocent.

You lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you?

I will not tolerate you.
I will go down beside you
I must go down beside you
No one is innocent.

evacuate the dancefloor, i'm infected by the sound, stop this beat is killing me...

I feel like this should be updated. So I am. Hey to all you readers in Cambodia *haha Darby*... Anyways, some good things have been going on for me, but if you know me and are on facebook you know what they are and who they are. Also, you know WHO you are... =))

I got another tattoo. Finally got the star on my forearm that I've been talking about forever and a day. I'm saving for the lyrics on my lower back. I'm guessing I'll get that done in like December. Maybe even sooner if possible. I need a price, and my tattoo artist didn't respond to my looooooooooong email that I wrote in the middle of the night on my sleeping meds. If he's even been on facebook I don't know. But I'm figuring $150 or something... I have that itch to get another tattoo already... and it's only been 3 weeks today.

As for school, I'm in Applied Project which is a lot like Research Methods. It's not so bad. The next class looks somewhat interesting. SOMEWHAT tho. I don't know, I don't really have much to say. I go down the shore on the 15th. I'm driving down myself so I can come back Thursday or Friday. I don't care if my parent's friend is coming down or not, I'm driving down. My Dad doesn't like me driving down, technically I don't like driving home. But, I will handle it and be patient and not do anymore crazy stunts on route 49 in Jersey like I have in the past. And I'll be on the lookout for cops on 55. So all should be good.

The weight loss is going well. Slow this week, but I had a large drop last week. Currently watching the Phils. Of course. What else would I be doing?
Thanks for reading. =))
-laura

Whispers: "7 days..."

So the Phillies won all 4 games against the Reds who were in first place in the National League. No we're a half game behind the mets and 4 games behind the braves. So if we start winning again we'll be in first place again. The braves are always a pain in the ass. It would just really suck if they make it to the playoffs and we don't.
My pharmacy just called me and said I had to call my doctor to have my prescription renewed which is weird cos I filled it Friday. There was a new random girl there who gave me a 10% off coupon which I'm gonna ask for every 4 months now, or maybe even sooner cos you get it after every 4 scripts you get filled. I use that insurance for some things I know my shitty insurance won't cover. I also like that with that insurance I can refill like 10 days before it's due to be refilled while with my shitty insurance I can only refill 2 days before. July 14th can't come soon enough for me.
So I had an accident last night thanks to the muscle relaxants. I passed out with my pitcher of sugar free koolaid in my hand in my kitchen. My neighbor cleaned up the whole mess thank god. She is too good to me. But I broke my favorite pitcher and got red koolaid all over my pj's and brand new robe, but i soaked them in cleaner over night in my tub and the stains came out. Thank god. But now theyre drying in my bathroom. But from now on I'm going to bed after I take the muscle relaxants. I hope my new doctor puts me on 3 instead of 2. Or a higher dose. Well, that is a higher dose, but 2 6mg's would probably do the exact job.
The maintenance man is putting my table together right now. Finally! And my closet will be fixed on Wednesday. Yay for the new maintenance man!!! =))
*************************************************
Anyways, I just got back from a walk. I walked around behind in the development that is behind my apt building to places I didn't know existed. Lots of cute houses back there and there was a very quiet dog which I liked. I hate when they bark at ya.
I lost another 3 lbs. Woot! It's really easy now cos I'm like never hungry. Wow I'm glad I came in from my walk when I did cos it's storming now and everyone knows how I feel about storms. It's a horror movie night. The All-Star Break gives me time to catch up on movies. Although I want to finish this book I'm reading cos I want to start reading Anna Karenina and then break in it and read Her Fearful Symmetry. I leant my neighbor the Time Traveler's Wife. She better read it! That book is precious to me. I looked for Lord of the Flies online and it's like $7. It's old! It should be like a penny like everything else that's a few years old. It's on my list! I also got two other Anna Maxted books. I think I'll have read all of hers once I'm done them. There might be one I haven't read or ordered yet. I have 3 Jane Green books to get through too. I don't know why she's so popular. I mean her stories are interesting yes, but she's kinda a dry writer. Anna Maxted makes you think, Sophie Kinsella and Marian Keyes make you laugh at the shit that goes on in life, and Jane Green, I don't know. I keep reading her books tho. Wow, now it's pouring. I want to watch the 4th Kind tonight. If my friend ever gets here. There's some dude I met on POF that keeps IMing me to hang out. I'm done being used for only one thing. So I'm not answering him. His last IM to me was "u there?" I felt like IMing back "nope" but I just said it aloud and closed it. Ha. Sucker. More like Fucker.
Okay, I'm shutting up now and finishing my final paper and my last discussion board. I logged into my class that starts tomorrow and it's like Research Methods. I'm seriously annoyed that this is my last Psychology class. I would rather have taken it when I had Statistics and Research Methods. Cos I hated the classes. I will learn nothing from this class, and that annoys me. JESUS FUCKING MARY JOSEPH AND CHRIST! LOUD BANG! Thanks for scaring the shit out of me thunder. I unplugged my laptop. All this is is doing research and preparing a research report. I hated doing that in Research Methods. I seriously hated it. I never wanted to hear, er read "quantitative or qualitative research" again, but nooooooo... they save that for the end. And I bet for my Master's it's gonna be even more of a bitch to do, but that will be based on working in the field I bet which I will enjoy. I'm dreading Research Methods and Stat in the Master's level but I will deal, especially since my Dad is a Statistician. Okay, why do I hear leaking water? Is Samara coming to get me? Is she gonna pop out of my TV? LOL. No. Okay I'm going before I get any more ideas, like start thinking about Paranormal Activity, cos that would not be fun. I'm so not watching that movie again.
Thanks for reading!
-Laura

Things get damaged, things get broken...

So i haven't updated this in months, but Nicole has livejournal and I wanted to join that but I figure this is easier to just use instead of all the signing up bullshit...
So the Phillies have been really sucking lately, but the last 2 games they really sparked and gave their all and it really helped them because they won. Against the team who was in the lead in the NL. =)) *happy dance*...

I had to retake the DMV exam road test because that's what the court decided. I took it and passed with flying colors. I would like to find out if I can get the points taken off my license since I retook the test, but I'll call my lawyer on Monday about it. I won't be a pain in the ass about it, i'll just see what he thinks about it. So the whole fiasco with the accident is over. My lawyer called too and he said there's no need to go to court this coming Monday so I'm home free! Thank god. I hated getting up at 5am to get ready for court.

Anyways, I am no longer involved with anyone, altho I may be with someone else soon. We'll see what happens next weekend. You know who you are. As for the guy I was seeing, let's just say I really *fucked* things up big time and I couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to hurt people and I knew if he found out some certain things it would've really hurt him. But we're staying friends. Which is okay with me. it's not it's Justin I'm trying to be friends with. But anyways, I got dicked over by another guy in a really awful situation and it's just not right. Everyone is telling me he's not worth it, but I don't know what to think. I know I have a lot going for me, it's just he's really hot... lol... stupid reason I know...

Almost done my Bachelor's in Psychology... March 28th is the date when I'm done... I have one more Psych class left actually and then I'm onto my general education courses and my electives. One of my electives is the Psychology of Criminal Behavior so that's kinda a psych course but it's in Criminal Justice. I have another Criminal Justice class too. My next class is Applied Project which I can probably get into today but I have somewhere to go. Maybe later tonight I'll take a look at it when I get home. I'm gonna FINALLY watch Shutter Island. I still remember the ending in the book and everyone talks about the ending in the movie so I'm figuring it's the same thing, altho you kinda see part of it coming. But then there's just this whole other part to it that's like, woah wtf? That's kinda what the girl with the dragon tattoo book was like... I've read a lot of books since I last posted, including the green mile... I haven't had much time to read lately, but I am reading "A total waste of makeup" which is funny but not exactly sensational. I'm trying to get someone to read Valley of the Dolls. I got her to read Candy which just is perfect if you work with addicts, but Valley of the Dolls was so before it's time. I'm currently looking for Lord of the Flies and I want to re-read Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dan got me Anna Karenina for my birthday and I'm gonna read part of that next. I have to read it in sections or it's gonna take my life, lol. Pride and Prejudice was awful to read. I really didn't like that book. I don't know what I'm gonna read in between Anna Karenina or what not, but probably the author of the Time Traveler's Wife's next book. I ordered it and it will be at my apt on Monday or Tuesday. I hope I get my textbook by then.

Anyways, I better finish getting ready and get the hell out of here... thanks for reading!
-laura
ps- henry's graduation was phenomenal... I had an awesome weekend that weekend...
pps- i may get my next tattoo next week sometime... the star on my arm... tiny, but i want it...

THE BEST NEWS ALL YEAR!!!

So, I found out today that my doctor signed the last form I needed so I may not have to go to court. My Mom told me this morning. She knew fucking yesterday. I was like why didn't you tell me then? I am so relieved. So now even if I do have to go to court, all the paperwork is signed saying I am able to drive. Oh thank god.
That's all.
-Laura

Can't sleep...

Hey all... it's a lovely 630am on a Tuesday morning and I can't sleep anymore. I took 2 extra rozerem and they FAILED. Now I only have one of them left. Great. I don't know how i'm going to get to sleep the next few nights. I'm gonna call JC at 7am and see if I can get in earlier. I'm drinking water even though I usually try not to eat or drink anything before I get weighed.

Anyways, Jimmy Fallon popped into my dream last night. I don't remember what he was doing there but it was something amusing. I need to watch that show again soon. He was funny on the Marriage Ref last week. I tried getting through to my friend that those are the kinds of problems she should be having with her boyfriend, not cheating issues. But HEALTHY problems. But I don't think she wants to hear it. I feel bad for my friends who are so wrapped up in relationships that they can't get out of them. It's better to be alone than miserable, but I think some people just like the dramatic lifestyle. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I got out.

Listening to Delerium radio and kinda wondering what this song is...Seoan? Never heard of them or him, sounds kinda like Tricky or Massive Attack.
Anyways, that is all for now... thanks for reading...
-Laura

Opening Day/Week

I was so happy to see the Yankees lose to the Red Sox last night, and then the Phillies won today =) Yaaaaay! Roy Halladay looked awesome, but he also looked really nervous. But it's just Day 1 jitters. That's how I explain the two walks and one run he gave up. I think he wanted to be perfect but if you think that way you get into Cole Hamels mentality and fail. I'm nervous about Hamels pitching on Wednesday. He didn't seem completely ready during Spring Training, but you never know.

Anyways, so the weight loss is going well. I am on Jenny Craig now which is really easy to do and I'm working out almost daily. I can't wait to get back into cycling classes again. I'm just doing cardio for now, no lifting. I'll add lifting once I get to a certain point. This was my 4th week on it. So far since January I have lost 23 lbs. 9.2 lbs on JC. The other 14 I think I lost cos of my sleeping meds and because I'm not taking a certain one regularly. Last night I went to bed hungry, but I took a second Ambien and it got me to sleep. I was tired when I woke up but I wanted to see Obama throw out the first pitch at the game today. Phils did awesome. Did I mention that? Anyways, I'll be tweeting through Wednesday's game so you can follow me on twitter @me0wmixalot.

Easter has come and gone. Not very exciting. No chocolate for me. I can't believe it's already opening week although the off season felt like forever and that it was never gonna end.

This past week I was doubled up on courses. The first week of one course that I really wanted to take called "Survey of Mental Health" which is basically what my career is going to be. And finishing up week of "Abnormal Psychology" which I've taken so many times now. The people who posted their answers to the first week of SOMH don't seem to reading the same book as I am. I came across that in the posts I read and responded to. Oh well. My instructor said my posts were excellent so I'm not worried. I am a bit worried about my lack of sources for the final paper in Ab. Psych but I'm not too worried about it. If I lose 5 pts it's not a big deal.

Anyways, time for Law and Order even though I've seen this episode. Thanks for reading!
-Laura

So Happy I Could Die and It's Alright

I haven't written in a while. Just haven't really felt like it. My moods have been low recently. They always get like this at the approach of spring. I don't know why. It's really warm out today, and I don't know. I was enjoying being in my car with the AC cranked. Not that I like the winter or anything, I think it sucks and I'm excited baseball season is just about upon us *marvelous in FL by the way* but I don't know. A lot of shit has got me down, especially the prospect of not being able to go to my --- okay my computer turned off right there... ridiculous, yes... and I don't know why... I swear if my computer crashes Dell is going to get an earful...

Anyways, the prospect of not being able to go to my brother's graduation because of my sleeping patterns. I can't sleep and when I do sleep it's for a long period of time to make up for my lack of sleep the other times.

Most of you who are important know what diet plan I'm on. I somehow managed to lose 14 lbs from early January to early March, and then added another 4 lbs last week. I'm following a program. I haven't thrown working out into it yet because I've just been so exhausted. What I don't understand is the people who exercise and shit and don't eat clean. Someone is bbq'ing outside right now, I can smell it, but I have to follow this for now. Even if I am hungry. Okay, now it just smells like the charcoals burning and it smells close by. At least it's not the smell of the Hatfield plant which is just disgusting.

I'm not going to talk about my "relationship" cos that's not what this blog is really for. "You can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest, that I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, knowing that I must pass this test, so just pull the trigger..."-- Russian Roullette... Rihanna

Ah, I gotta do homework. I have a rough draft of a paper due tomorrow and I haven't started that yet. Plus the quiz and responding to people on the discussion board. My favorite topic was this week: Personality Disorders. Hopefully, my financial documents got to Ashford in time and I can take the Intro to Clinical Psychology course I want that starts during the last week of this course. I should write most of my paper now, even though I don't feel like it, because then I won't have to do so much when the classes overlap.

Anyways, I get weighed on Tuesday, so hopefully I dropped some more weight. I plan on throwing some intervals into the mix. Just a bit of cardio. When I used to binge on cardio I used to also binge on food. Even though I looked good, I still had issues with eating. I don't want to get back to that.

Let's go Phillies!
Thanks for reading.
-Laura

Pride and Prejudice

I recently have read the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and was expecting it to be a bit better than I thought it was. It takes at least halfway through the book for the story to begin to develop as you have to get the background on everyone really at first. The two character's of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy don't really get together till the end. It is more than halfway through the story that you find out his attraction to her, and then later her attraction to him. I can see reading this in high school, but not for fun really. I still like to read my post-modern books that may soon be seen as classics when I'm long gone from this life. Honestly, I think kids in school should be reading post-modern work as it is in this time period. Although I did take one of my books that was favorited by me in high school back to my apartment to read once again eventually: Great Expectations. I also look to read some of my Stephen King books that I put on the backburner because they are so long. I am not so sure I want to read Anna Karenina anymore, so I am not going to order it anytime soon. I am looking forward to reading Candace Bushnell's latest come April and then the long awaited *since September!* book by Emily Giffin which got mixed reviews, but her books are always so good, I don't see how there can be any fault with it. My friend Chrissy is hooked on her now. =) She says she wishes her life was like the first book, without the "i'm sleeping with my best friend's fiance" to it. I totally agreed.

Anyways, not much else is going on. I get my CPAP machine on Thursday afternoon. The guy *Joe* is going to show me how to use it. If you don't know what a CPAP machine is, it's for sleep apnea. I found out I stopped breathing over 600 times an hour. Meaning, I never really got sleep. Which would explain my accident. But I really don't want to think about that right now as it's been 5 months since then and it's just not pleasant to think about. Although everytime I look in the mirror and see the scar on my chin from the airbag I am reminded of it. Thanks god!

My 28th birthday has come and gone, and I got some really nice gifts and had a good time at my party. It's my first year in 5 where I haven't gotten roses for Valentine's day. I don't really mind it though. They're a pain in the ass to take care of anyway.

For some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about Oliver and Liz. I dreamt Liz was still alive and that it was all a big joke. I dream that often. I have mixed feelings about how I would respond to that. In the dream I am always upset by it, not even relieved for her to be alive. I don't know why. I always wake up thinking that she's drastically changed my life again, but then realize it's not true. I have to get back in touch with her mother. As for Oliver. I look at his picture and just cry. I tried to relate this to my brother who lost his dog when he got divorced and he said it's been really hard without her. He said he almost went to the pound the other day and rescued a puppy. I think it would be good for him, but he's so busy he wouldn't have the time to give to it. I think once he moves, after he accepts a job. Either in Tampa or Colorado. We all need a companion, whether it be human or an animal. I'd like a kitten but right now I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere that I don't think it would be fair to have a kitten just yet. Although I would introduce it to Buddy. =) A kitten is just what the Old Man Buddy needs for his playful streak.

Anyways, I ordered a CD of hynopsis for sleep. I should get it in the mail in the next couple of days. A long with my textbook for class. I forgot we had no mail on Monday cos of President's day, and I expected to have my book today, but alas, I'll have it tomorrow. At least I better. I took a lot of tylenol PM tonight. I'm not gonna say how much because I don't want anyone else to freak out on me because it is MY liver, and there's a disturbed lyric that I really relate to "I want you to quicken my end" so anything to get me out of this shitty predicament that my life has become and meanwhile will put me to sleep I welcome with open arms. Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight, maybe I won't. But, we'll see...
Thanks for reading...
-Laura

Sleep Test etc. etc.

I had the sleep test on Wednesday night and it turns out I do have sleep apnea. I could kinda tell last night when I woke up a bunch of times. Probably because I stopped breathing. I'm still taking Tylenol PM to get to sleep. Along with the Temazepam. Which doesn't really do anything on it's own.

I'm at my parent's house for the night b/c I need to do research for my rough draft of my paper *yes another one* that is due this week.

I got some letters from my lawyer saying my court date is now moved to April 12, so hopefully I won't have to go to court at all. I have the second part of my sleep test tomorrow night in Lansdale. It's kinda interesting. They put you in your own room and they video and audio record you sleeping. It felt like I barely slept cos I was out for like 6 hours and then they woke me up. But it was snowing when I got up. That was kinda fun to wake up to.

Anyways, I'm currently reading "The Dirty Girls Social Club" but it's taking me forever to read cos I haven't had time. I'm not even through the first chapter. Then I'm gonna read "Getting over It" by Anna Maxted whose books I have read a few of. Then "Valley of the Dolls". I found that gem at the paperback trader. I'm tempted to go to that store today, but I'm holding off on it. I also bought "Pride and Prejudice" and "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". Don't know which order I'll get to those though. I also have 2 other Donna Kauffman books to read. I went on her author's page on Amazon and she looks just like I expected her to look. Which was cool. I like her, she's funny and her books are entertaining. I also have another Lori Foster book to read, and I saw a few of hers at the paperback trader. So I've got lots of reading to do, just gotta make the time. Supernatural and Vampire Diaries are back on on Thursdays. And 90210 and Melrose Place start again on March 9th. That seems forever away.

My birthday is coming up. Can't believe I'm gonna be 28. My brother was married by my age. But he's also divorced *thank god* now. I'm not gonna diss the Poli's, cos it's a waste of breath, but I am so happy to have my brother back.

I should do my quiz for the week for school. Maybe later. I'm not up for it right now.
Thanks for reading.
-Laura

I think I'm breaking down...

Okay, so I felt this needed an update... so here it is...

I am having one of my anxiety ridden days... I've gone like a week without any problems, but back to not sleeping properly and the anxiety is back. So this is going to be brief.

I have a sleep study scheduled for February 11. The doctor thinks I have sleep apnea. Whatever. If they can fix my sleeping problem that would be amazing. But I'm not holding my breath.

Thanks for reading.
-Laura

Cos I'm a free bitch baby!

Happy New Year! Sorry I didn't post at all in December... my mood really dipped low and so I wasn't up for anything really. Even the class I was excited about taking wasn't enjoyable. So I'm hoping my next two courses are. Physiological Psychology is the course that starts tomorrow. We have to keep a weekly journal as an assignment, so at least I don't have to write a paper in week 2! I like keeping a journal for classes on what I think of topics. Reminds me of my days as an English major.

Anyways, Christmas came and went and I got a bunch of good stuff. I don't know if I had my new car yet when I posted this last, was but it's a Ford Taurus. I miss my Explorer but nothing can be done. I don't really want to discuss the accident and the fact that I'm having trouble getting doctors to fill out paperwork but that's what has really been bugging me lately. I'm probably going to lose my license. I don't know how I'm going to get it back. So I'm kinda setting up a home gym in my living room. I'm waiting for my Dad to drop off the stationary bike. I have my treadmill and a bunch of DVD's too. And I need to get my heavier weights back from my neighbor who I lent them to. I may get my 10's here. Wish I had 15's so I could really isolate certain muscles... I would like a 30 lb bar for upright rows. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

I have a lot of appointments this week. One of my new year's resolutions is to try to keep all my appointments. It's gonna be hard cos I'm still having a lot of problems sleeping. But now I'm taking Tylenol PM and on Wednesday when I see the doctor I'm going to ask to try Restoril (temazapam). It says on askapatient.com that is really works, so I'm hoping that's my saving grace. Fuck the Ativan. It doesn't work anymore. But I see a new PCP today. He was my brother's doctor and helped him a lot when he found out he had Type 1 diabetes so I'm hoping he's good. My parent's also switched. So fuck you Linda Nadwodny. Yeah I said your name bitch.

Oh yeah, I dyed my hair burgundy red. I like it. At first I was in shock, and then I liked it, then I didn't, now I like it. It looks alright down to me, especially straight. And getting it straight isn't hard to do thanks to my flat iron and hair dryer. I have Lady Gaga's Paparazzi in my head. I always have this song or Bad Romance by her in my head. I think she's awesome.

Anyways, I hung out with Dan and Matt on New Year's Eve. Brad had a party to go to, so I didn't go to that cos I really wasn't up for partying. Serial sent me video of "Closer" done by Mr. Greengenes on NYE. It's kinda our "song"... lol... I wanna fuck you like an animal... he's actually the one who gave me the idea to try tylenol pm to get to sleep since he's the insomniac king.

Anyways, I've read a bunch of books since I last wrote, but I'm gonna just write about two of them. One I had saved for when my parent's were away in Florida and I read it at their house. It's my 2nd favorite book of 2009. "One Fifth Avenue" by Candace Bushnell *author of Sex and the City*... It was awesome and well done and it was what you expect from Bushnell. If only she put out books more quickly, but at least it's quality and not quantity when it comes to her.
The other book I read while I was at my parent's house was "Push" which is by Sapphire. There is a movie called "Precious" which is based on this book. It was different but interesting. Right now I have about 50 pages left of a Contemporary Romance novel I'm reading. I'm gonna finish it this morning and then read probably the book that goes with it. This one is called "Murphy's Law" and the other one is called "Jude's Law"... theyre both by Lori Foster. I'm gonna have to pick up her book "The Secret Life of Bryan"... she can write a good story. I got a bunch of books for Xmas to read and bought some on my own, so I'm pretty good on books probably till April =) Any suggestions I'm happy to take.

Anyways, till next time, thanks for reading!
-Laura
ps- Phillies pitchers and catchers start soon! About a little more than a month away. At least I have that to look forward to.