*the title is because xfiles king mulder is on satc*
I don't think grandparents should be kept away from their grandchildren just because the parents aren't together. I'm watching SATC again as usual on DVD and I don't think it's right that Steve's mom hasn't met Brady. I think she should have met him when he was born. I don't think it's right for a parent who is mad at their baby mama or baby daddy that they keep their children away from them. It's just my opinion. I used to get really emotional about this episode and being hurt and not believing anymore in love but I believe in it now in certain ways. I was desperate to have someone around so I got into an abusive relationship instead of sticking with the guy who treated me like a queen. And now I have Matthias. I love calling him that, lol.
I will finish this later...
*********************************************************************
Honesty in relationships is so important. I give credit to Matt for being honest with me. He needed to be. And I will be honest with him. Usually things don't bother me unless you keep it from me then lie about it.
Anyways, I had a big lunch. A sandwich and some baked chips and some low sugar cookies. I'll have to really watch what I eat for dinner tonight but I planned on doing that anyways. I didn't go to the gym today but I will tomorrow. I did a lot of walking at the game on Monday. We went to the Spectrum Grill at Xfinity live instead of the Broad Street Bullies pub which is a fun place to watch the Flyers games. It was really expensive. I thought it was good but a bit salty. Gail thought the mushrooms and onions were salty too. Matt had a steak which is usually salty anyways. Matt spent a lot of money on me that night and I'm grateful. I had a good time even tho they lost. Wish we had gone last night cos Hamels had a complete game and did sooooooo well. He had a shutout. Kelsey got to go last night.
Poor Carrie is freaking out about Big having surgery. I know what it's like to care about someone so much that anyone or anything hurting them hurts you as well. I feel that way about a lot of my friends and family. Oh joy, Kristin Cavalarri or however the fuck you spell her name had her kid. I'm sure it's beautiful but really, I don't care. Anyways, the past week I have been going to bed kinda late for me lately cos I've been out so much but tonight I want to go to bed by 10pm. I don't want to sleep my morning away again. I need to get up and get to the gym. So tomorrow, that's my plan. In the fall I would like to get back to the YMCA and use the pool and the elliptical machine. For now, the stepper is fine. It's good for your legs and it is good cardio. I want to run stairs as well. That is hard as fuck. Even when I was like gym queen that kicked my ass and a friend of mine at the gym used the stairclimber everyday and would put it on like impossible resistance. Needless to say, she had an incredible body. After I get back from vacay I am going to start a diet at the gym with the help of a trainer. So i won't be able to go out to eat as much which isn't really a problem. I think it will help, even tho I never really eat much food anymore except for today's lunch.
haha, the nurse on SATC thought Big was Carrie's husband. People think me and Matt are married all the time and we never correct them. Even at CBP people call us husband and wife. It's only a matter of time before that is spot on. *I follow all the NY teams...*--too bad they SUCK.
Oooh loreal has a new mascara called Power Volume... I may have to go out and get that. I thought about getting the Maybelline plush mascara but I like the size of this one's brush. And DiorShow Blackout mascara is just not in the works to being affordable right now so I'll have to go with cheaper stuff. It works anyways, just takes a bit more work to get the same effects.
Anyways, I finished Babyville the other day and started "Prep" by some chick named curtis sittenfeld. I haven't really been too dedicated to reading it yet and I plan on watching the SATC movie at 4. Well, the beginning of it cos I saw the end a few days ago. Or maybe I won't watch it and I'll read for a while. Today is a lazy day. I am getting sick of watching tv right now, so I think I'm going to wrap this up and go read for a while. Thanks for reading!-laura
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
that's the meanest thing you've ever said to me...
*the title is a quote from SATC... it's hilarious when she says it...=))*
Ah, so I read my last blog post and noticed how angry it seemed, but I think it was because they reduced one of my meds to a much lower dose *still trying to get off them, but since May I have come off so many meds. I am only on Geodon, Saphris, Neurontin and Zoloft.* Anyways, so the dose was too low so I called my new doctor and hopefully ill stay on the dose i was on last. It's a lower dose than I originally was on. Does anyone know about the combination of Saphris and Geodon being bad? I have read different things about it, but there is a concern about me being on both of them. Anyways, so my anxiety got really bad there for a few days but since I went back to an increased dosage I'm much calmer. Just a bit tired. And I wasn't able to really enjoy myself down the shore last weekend because I just felt like shit. But I am looking forward to my trip this coming week. My brother comes in on Thursday night and then on Friday I think the 6 of us are going out to dinner somewhere. I would assume at least. Then Saturday morning we are leaving at 7am *ugh kill me! lol* for the shore so we don't sit in traffic and we are going straight to Uncle Bill's pancake house in Strathmere, but I think I may run to DD at like 6am and get a red eye or a double espresso iced latte. I'm gonna need something!
I'm watching Sex and the City and I must say that Miranda is a really good friend to Carrie I think. I think it's interesting how they end up meeting each other in the Summer and the City book. This is a sad episode. it's where Miranda's mom dies. They cut out the part where the stranger makes her feel better in the store when she is buying her shitty black dress. =(( Oh well.
I'm going to the Phillies game again tomorrow with Gail and Matt. We wanted to bring Gail's boyfriend but he can't go. Gail and Brian are so cute. =)) Matt's whole family is awesome. I like them all. His grandpop really likes me. I like him too and his girlfriend who has excellent style. Matt jokingly said he was going to have to run out and buy a ring today to ask me to marry him at the game, lol! I would be so embarassed but it would be really sweet and memorable. Kelsey *my cuz* said that that would be a perfect spot for me. She goes to a lot of games too because she has partial season tickets. I did want to get them at one point but right now, I don't really need to. Deciding on the spur of the moment is the way to go I think for me. That way hopefully in September I will see Hamels again. I will see if we can figure it out in the beginning of September and when Matt has off work we will go. I'm going to see Worley tomorrow and probably Worley again on the 22nd when I get back from the shore and go to the game. Then I'm going back down the shore. I have to talk to my friend Serial to see when we can hangout down there. I know the 14th is a definite. I haven't been texting too much this week cos if I use my phone I usually make a call cos Matt doesn't like texting. And I know he likes to hear the sound of my voice, as I his. =))
We went to Friendly's for lunch. Today was my cheat day altho I didn't really cheat on my diet that bad. I did have a Sundae but I hardly ate my sandwich. I'm going to watch what I eat for dinner and breakfast tomorrow I'll have a bagel thin with a Laughing Cow cheese triangle. Or peanut butter. Whoooo I am tired. I wonder why I am so tired. Maybe I'll take a nap but it looks like it's gonna rain or storm so that might keep me up dammit. Yeah there are dark clouds outside so it probably will storm soon like they said it was going to. I'll put on the 6 oclock news and check the weather in a minute. Four people got struck by lightning on Friday down the shore. It didn't even rain where I was in Sea Isle City, NJ. I love the shore and can't wait to go back. For an extended stay too. Just heard thunder. I still haven't decided what I'm going to read while I'm down there but I'll figure it out. I still am interested in reading the Host. Right now I'm reading "Babyville" by Jane Green. She is a good writer but her stories are really hit or miss on if you're going to like them or not. They can be a bit dry.
I put on the news but they're talking about the death of Andy Reid's son Garrett. Okay now they're talking about the storms. It says in 8 mins it will hit Norristown *the heart of hell* and so it will probably hit me in like 5-10 minutes. I just hope my Pickle Pixie is okay. Anyways, Garrett Reid probably died from a drug overdose. You sometimes need to hit rock bottom to realize that your life has taken a wrong path but often times it doesn't work. I feel awful for those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I've been there, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to want your pain taken away. But from my recent experiences it's better to "be patient" as MJK says in his tool song the patient. " Must keep reminding myself of this I must keep reminding myself of this...if there were no rewards to reap, no loving embrace to see me thru, this tedious path i've chosen here, i certainly wouldve walked away by now." How embarassing for the Reid family for his kid being in prison. I am guessing nothing could have saved Garrett. I wonder if my cousin Matt can be saved. He's been crying for help for a long time now, and I wish there was something I could do to help him. When you're in that state tho you can't figure out what is right and what's wrong and how to deal with it. All you can see is the here and now, and you want immediate gratification. But it's not always possible. Like I said, be patient. What's a month in the hospital compared to years worth of chasing drugs and trying to score to fix that problem that just won't go away and still won't even with the drugs? I just can't imagine not being healthy again. In good news with that I've been checking my blood sugar and it was pretty low the other day compared to how high it was a few months ago. I've been walking and doing some form of exercise from 30-45 mins daily with a day off every 6 or 7 days. Last time I went 9 days without rest and that might be why I have been so tired. Tomorrow in the morning I'm going to go to the gym, then I have a dentist appointment *I know you love me my friends at Blue Bell Dental! lol-Kim!* then I will get changed and go to the game. We are going to have dinner at Xfinity Live. Gail has never been there so it will be cool.
I just thought of something: Sea Isle City should have a "rodney" like OCM does. Okay severe thunderstorm warning, but it isn't really bad at all here. It's pretty dark here tho. Oh well. I'm going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading! -laura
I'm watching Sex and the City and I must say that Miranda is a really good friend to Carrie I think. I think it's interesting how they end up meeting each other in the Summer and the City book. This is a sad episode. it's where Miranda's mom dies. They cut out the part where the stranger makes her feel better in the store when she is buying her shitty black dress. =(( Oh well.
I'm going to the Phillies game again tomorrow with Gail and Matt. We wanted to bring Gail's boyfriend but he can't go. Gail and Brian are so cute. =)) Matt's whole family is awesome. I like them all. His grandpop really likes me. I like him too and his girlfriend who has excellent style. Matt jokingly said he was going to have to run out and buy a ring today to ask me to marry him at the game, lol! I would be so embarassed but it would be really sweet and memorable. Kelsey *my cuz* said that that would be a perfect spot for me. She goes to a lot of games too because she has partial season tickets. I did want to get them at one point but right now, I don't really need to. Deciding on the spur of the moment is the way to go I think for me. That way hopefully in September I will see Hamels again. I will see if we can figure it out in the beginning of September and when Matt has off work we will go. I'm going to see Worley tomorrow and probably Worley again on the 22nd when I get back from the shore and go to the game. Then I'm going back down the shore. I have to talk to my friend Serial to see when we can hangout down there. I know the 14th is a definite. I haven't been texting too much this week cos if I use my phone I usually make a call cos Matt doesn't like texting. And I know he likes to hear the sound of my voice, as I his. =))
We went to Friendly's for lunch. Today was my cheat day altho I didn't really cheat on my diet that bad. I did have a Sundae but I hardly ate my sandwich. I'm going to watch what I eat for dinner and breakfast tomorrow I'll have a bagel thin with a Laughing Cow cheese triangle. Or peanut butter. Whoooo I am tired. I wonder why I am so tired. Maybe I'll take a nap but it looks like it's gonna rain or storm so that might keep me up dammit. Yeah there are dark clouds outside so it probably will storm soon like they said it was going to. I'll put on the 6 oclock news and check the weather in a minute. Four people got struck by lightning on Friday down the shore. It didn't even rain where I was in Sea Isle City, NJ. I love the shore and can't wait to go back. For an extended stay too. Just heard thunder. I still haven't decided what I'm going to read while I'm down there but I'll figure it out. I still am interested in reading the Host. Right now I'm reading "Babyville" by Jane Green. She is a good writer but her stories are really hit or miss on if you're going to like them or not. They can be a bit dry.
I put on the news but they're talking about the death of Andy Reid's son Garrett. Okay now they're talking about the storms. It says in 8 mins it will hit Norristown *the heart of hell* and so it will probably hit me in like 5-10 minutes. I just hope my Pickle Pixie is okay. Anyways, Garrett Reid probably died from a drug overdose. You sometimes need to hit rock bottom to realize that your life has taken a wrong path but often times it doesn't work. I feel awful for those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I've been there, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to want your pain taken away. But from my recent experiences it's better to "be patient" as MJK says in his tool song the patient. " Must keep reminding myself of this I must keep reminding myself of this...if there were no rewards to reap, no loving embrace to see me thru, this tedious path i've chosen here, i certainly wouldve walked away by now." How embarassing for the Reid family for his kid being in prison. I am guessing nothing could have saved Garrett. I wonder if my cousin Matt can be saved. He's been crying for help for a long time now, and I wish there was something I could do to help him. When you're in that state tho you can't figure out what is right and what's wrong and how to deal with it. All you can see is the here and now, and you want immediate gratification. But it's not always possible. Like I said, be patient. What's a month in the hospital compared to years worth of chasing drugs and trying to score to fix that problem that just won't go away and still won't even with the drugs? I just can't imagine not being healthy again. In good news with that I've been checking my blood sugar and it was pretty low the other day compared to how high it was a few months ago. I've been walking and doing some form of exercise from 30-45 mins daily with a day off every 6 or 7 days. Last time I went 9 days without rest and that might be why I have been so tired. Tomorrow in the morning I'm going to go to the gym, then I have a dentist appointment *I know you love me my friends at Blue Bell Dental! lol-Kim!* then I will get changed and go to the game. We are going to have dinner at Xfinity Live. Gail has never been there so it will be cool.
I just thought of something: Sea Isle City should have a "rodney" like OCM does. Okay severe thunderstorm warning, but it isn't really bad at all here. It's pretty dark here tho. Oh well. I'm going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading! -laura
Thursday, August 2, 2012
muscle cars drove a truck right thru my heart...
Another week, down. One more week till my long vacation at the shore although I am going tomorrow for a few days. I'll probably get even more color again. Hooray for not being pale and ugly! lol... My bff Jackie is probably coming down during the 2 weeks I am there... and Matt is coming down the 2nd week I am there. He's going to be bored without me at home aren't ya Matthius?
My brother and his gf are coming into town next Thursday or Friday. I can't wait. Should be a good time. I look forward to seeing how they train. I had a good workout this morning. Did twice the amount of time as usual on the stepper. I enjoy it a lot and will either take a mile or 2 mile walk tomorrow down the shore. I did 2 miles when I was there last week but didn't take water and it was soooo freakin hot. I got thru it tho, but the 2nd mile was killer. I won't do that again. Next time I'll take water especially since it's supposed to be pretty hot there tomorrow. Been really watching what I am eating. We went to a buffet last night but it was so terrible that Matt and I didn't even eat the food we got. It was so gross. It was Jim's Buffet in Lansdale. It was awful. I recommend never going there. I've dropped 3 sizes. I'm going by how my clothes feel and fit and not by the scale cos the scale is a pain in the ass. I look a lot thinner now too. Can't wait to be back to my thin self again. Being heavy is so unhealthy and unattractive.
As for the Phillies, the trade deadline has passed and Pence went to the Giants and Victorino went to the Dodgers. I'll miss Pence and Shaney had a lot of heart being here and was an integral part of the 2008 World Series Championship. But times have passed and they seem to be doing better now that they made the trades. Eric Kratz has been wonderful and except for the error Kevin Frandsen has been good too. I think they just needed to get a new group together. Lee even looked really good the other night against Strasburg which surprised me.
I'm sick of being on my computer so I'm going to wrap this up. I'm hardly ever on my computer anymore. Not even facebook. I don't even go on it on my phone. It's such a waste of time. It's high school shit I think. I may even get rid of my fb account so no LOSERS can spy on me. Wish I had the time to spy on him, but basically, I really don't give a shit. I feel sorry for whoever he dates next because I had horrible stress headaches from that relationship and they went away for good once he was out of my life. THANK GOD. I wish I had left him and told him to get out the first time he jumped on me and started strangling me cos I woke him up. He's abusive and the next chick will probably be abused by him too. He abused his daughter and left a welt on her. That's HORRIBLE. You don't beat your kids. He also lies about it too and says I gave him a black eye when he had black eyes from the day I met him. I bet he's wondering why they're permanent. Cos you're the dumbass who doesn't know how to get sleep and get rid of them. He's an awful person and I am so happy he is out of my life. I should have pressed charges against him when I was in the hospital and the doctors were telling me to. They saw the marks he left on my face from when he punched me. I was afraid to tho because he put fear in me. Anyways, ladies learn from this... walk away from abusive relationships. It's not worth the pain and stress they put you thru. It's better to be with someone who is a good person *like my love Matt* and be treated like the queen you are then to be supporting a deadbeat father of 3 children with 3 different mothers *can we say male slut?*, toothless, lying, uneducated high school dropout, ugly prick who has no drive except to live on Facebook and act like he knows how to ummm "produce" music. That's really funny. Making crap on your computer doesn't mean you can "produce" anything. Especially since it all sucked. Amen.
Okay, now that I got that out, onto more important things in my next posts. =)) Like how wonderful life has been lately. I'm going to get ready for my dentist appointment. Thanks for reading.
-laura
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