guarding yourself from the love of another, left you with nothing tonight... why does it sound like the devil is laughing, leaving me haunted tonight?

*The title is from the Disturbed song "guarded" that I have in my head right now. I'll have to listen to them on the way to the theatre and to dinner* Yaaay is all I have to say about today. The Phillies signed Cole Hamels to 6 years with a vesting option of a 7th year this morning. I am so happy. I must admit i teared up the other day when I thought it might be his last start as a Phillie. It just would have been unfair and it would have said they didn't want to win games or championships if they didn't sign him. I'm so glad he signed here. Thank god. =)) The Phillies also just won their 4th game in a row. I was at the one they won on Sunday against the Giants. It was a good game and went into the 12th inning. They are doing so much better since the All Star break and it would be awesome if they could go on a good run and make it into the playoffs. Like Matt said, they should probably focus on winning the wild card now instead of the NL East. I think it's their best option. And since I know Matt reads this: I looooooooooove you, you're my booooooooooooyfriend... LOL... kissy kissy... hahaha... I needed to make fun of him on here just because he knows I looooooooooooooove him, I think he's specccccccccccial... even if he is late all the time. He's going to be late for his own funeral. I used to be late all the time but I never am anymore. Anyways, I look forward to getting my car back from the shop soon. It needed major repairs and I had put it off for so long that they are finally getting done. I can't imagine not being able to have a car or drive for that matter. That would be terrible. As for work, in September I am going to sign up for nurses aide training in Lansdale at St. Mary's Manor and hopefully work there or for an agency. I really enjoy working with elderly people because they interest me and usually just need a smiling face to make their day. I don't want to deal with difficult people who don't like me simply because they are jealous of me *Hint, youre too ugly to mention by name, but your boyfriend's name rhymes with Man... but he's definitely not a Man since he can't stand up to you. One day when you break up because he doesn't want to be bossed around anymore by an insecure unfortunate looking bitch, well then I can say "I told you so."* Enough about that. I'm going to the shore again for the weekend but my friend isn't going to be down this weekend. =(( I was hoping to see him, but I guess I have to wait until August. Things have been going good again for me. Just a little set back with how I felt about that girl *is she a girl?* who tried to make me feel awful about myself. Too bad she's not awesome enough to ever get to know me. I'm seeing the Dark Knight Rises tonight. It looks good. Christian Bale *one of my favorite actors* went to visit some of the victims of the shooting. He is a great person, and it's a shame the Batman franchise has been fucked up by incidents such as the death of Heath Ledger and now this mass shooting. I don't think anything happened with the first movie. I'll have to watch the first two again. And I want to watch Die Hard because Matt wants me to and I said I would. He thinks I'm going to make him watch Magic Mike with me when I buy it when it comes out on DVD, but I won't. It was good tho. I also got the new Emily Giffin book yesterday and am almost halfway thru it. I may not have time to finish it by tomorrow so I will take it down the shore. I am probably going to go to Target tomorrow to get some more tshirts for working out. I have a huge blister which is finally starting to heal on my foot from walking 2 miles without socks on. My new black sneakers fucked up my foot. It feels much better than it did, but it does still hurt. Anyways, I need to finish getting ready for my date with Matt so I am going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading. -laura =^-^= Meow!

that ball is outta here!!!

Today I came back from the shore. It was a quick trip there just to get away for the night. I'm really looking forward to my 2 weeks there in August. I plan on seeing my friend who works for a band down there during this time. I'm glad I didn't lose touch with him even tho I supposedly wasn't supposed to talk to him. Oops. But he was there for me when my friend passed away in January unlike a certain LOSER I won't name, lol. Anyways, after my walk today I cleaned up my room and cleaned out my closet and took all the trash downstairs. Yesterday I walked 2 miles down the shore even tho it was pretty windy. I didn't mind. Just put on my iPod and went. I ran into someone I met when I was in the hospital. She was really nice and sweet and I hope she gets better. I emailed her on fb because she lives close by and I would like to get together with her. So, if you're reading this, you know who you are! =)) I think I got bitten by a few mosquitoes or something because my face and neck have been itchy. It looks like I have bites, but I'm not sure. I can't really tell except when I look in the mirror. So I'm listening to the game while I'm in my room and Cole Hamels had his first career homerun off the starting pitcher for the All Star Game on the National League this year. Matt Cain. He also has a perfect game this year, and Hamels gets his first homerun off him! I think Hamels is definitely capable of hitting more homeruns than just the one. I really hope we sign him and don't sell him. I don't think we should. As they said on the radio the other day, if the Phillies don't sign him, then it's like theyre saying they don't want to win. Ruben Amaro Jr. needs to get it right and sign him soon. I heard they offered him 6 years and 144million dollars. I hope he takes it. The Yankees would offer him more I know but I don't think being a Yankee is worth it. The other day I saw the Yankees minor league team the Trenton Thunder play the Reading Phillies. Of course the Phillies lost. It was a fun game and the food there was cheap. I'm going to the regular Phillies game tomorrow. I'm going with Brad, Matt and another girl. Should be a good time. I'm reading another book by Jennifer Weiner now. It's called Little Earthquakes. So far it's not that wonderful because it's all about marriage and babies and I don't really give a shit about that stuff right now. But I'll get thru it. I don't think I want to have kids because then they will probably end up with at least depression especially since Matt also has bipolar disorder. I don't want to put a child thru that. I also don't want to spend the money I'll be making from working on someone else. I mean, sure I will love them, and I do like to spoil people with gifts but I don't know. I just don't think it's in the cards for me. But if it happens, it happens. Anyways, I need to call Matt back cos he's coming over after he's done work tonight. I'm gonna read for a while after the game. Mr. Buddy is hanging out with me. He's so cute. I still haven't written the short story I want to put into words that is in my head but I will eventually. I heard that 50 Shades was written on a blackberry. I thought that was kinda cool. It's not exactly "good" writing. I've read much better, but people probably like it so much cos it's sex sex sex which got old fast and also it's really easy reading. It's also fantasy. I don't really understand the obsession with it but it's chick lit, so I guess girls really like it. If a guy was reading it, well I dunno what to think of that, lol. He's not a man. Haha. I don't know if I'll see the movie. I think Alexander Skarsgard should be Christian Grey and my friend said she thought that Anne Hathaway should be Anastasia Steele. I don't know about that because while she may be homely, I don't think she really would fit that role since she was Catwoman in the movie the Dark Knight Rises which I'm going to see sometime this week. Even if there was a mass shooting at the movie, I still want to see it and support Mr. Christian Bale. I'm gonna call Matt back now. Thanks for reading! -laura

In my platforms I hit the floor... fell facedown, it didn't help my brain out...

*the title is because I have been getting a lot of wear out of my platforms that I bought a few weeks ago.* Today and the rest of this past week have been good. Life has been really good lately. I'm looking forward to going to the shore this weekend, then the Phillies/Giants game on Sunday with Matt. Hopefully they will win and it will be the first game I see them win this year besides the On Deck preseason game they won with Hamels. *Hollywood Hamels as we like to call him. He is so hot. So is most of the team tho.* Anyways, I had therapy today and I worked out this morning after going to Double TT for breakfast and having a few good cups of coffee. I am enjoying working out, its just when I go a lot of people are using the machines and it gets kind of annoying when you are trying to work thru a circuit and people are taking their grand old time with it. Oh well. I am going to incorporate working out more than just once a day into my schedule. When I am down the shore I am going to walk daily and maybe do some ab exercises along with plyos. That's always fun and it will keep me from gaining weight back while I am going out to eat every night I am down there. I will be there for about 2 weeks, but am coming back so I can go to another Phillies game with Matt, his sister, his Dad and his Dad's girlfriend and our friend Rich. Rich is a nice guy. Matt finally introduced me to him, and he said I was a keeper or something to that effect. Matt and I talk about getting married someday but right now I don't want to be in a relationship. Altho we practically are. But I have been trying to maintain my independence for as long as I can. Loser really fucked with my head *You promised me heaven, but put me thru hell.* That's the perfect way to describe it. He really was full of shit. But I don't want to waste my time or energy on someone who is a waste of space and a deadbeat father. What was I thinking getting involved with someone like him? I think I was desperate... that's what I had to be. But I'm certainly not desperate now. Anyways, I have been eating a lot better *Just had some string cheese that Mr. Buddy was eyeballing me for* and I have been reading a lot about diet and exercise. Trying to keep healthy things around me and keep motivated to work out everyday for at least 30 mins. The weight is flying off me, which is wonderful. I hope people don't recognize me. But eventually I will be at that stage. Oh god, windows is being a pain in the ass again, so I am going to wrap this up unofruntatley cos I can't see what I am typing. Okay, maybe I have fixed it now. Anyways, I am going to try to update this regularly, and to keep a log of things I do and opinions I have and such. Writing is so cathartic. I also have some ideas for some short stories to write. And I will read read read. Reading is so important if you want to be able to be a good writer. I just wish I could figure out what the hell Windows wants from me in order to not have it pulling at the whole screen. Oh well. I think I am going to go and make some dinner and then finish Nantucket Nights by Elin Hildebrand. Matt bought me another one of her books last night, and after I'm done this I'm going to read something else, but I'm not sure what exactly yet. I think for my few weeks down the shore I'm going to read The Host by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. And also a book by Marian Keyes, but I haven't decided which one yet. I also will probably bring down I Remember You by Harriet Evans. And probably something short and sweet as well. I plan on reading a lot while I am there. I am not sure what I am going to read next because I plan on taking something to the shore with me on Friday. But if I read a lot of it by Thursday, then I won't be able to take it. So I'll see. I'll have to check out what I have, because I've been going thru books so fast lately. Anyways, maybe I'll post again later, but probably I won't until tomorrow because if I write later, it's going to be a short story.