that's the meanest thing you've ever said to me...

*the title is a quote from SATC... it's hilarious when she says it...=))* Ah, so I read my last blog post and noticed how angry it seemed, but I think it was because they reduced one of my meds to a much lower dose *still trying to get off them, but since May I have come off so many meds. I am only on Geodon, Saphris, Neurontin and Zoloft.* Anyways, so the dose was too low so I called my new doctor and hopefully ill stay on the dose i was on last. It's a lower dose than I originally was on. Does anyone know about the combination of Saphris and Geodon being bad? I have read different things about it, but there is a concern about me being on both of them. Anyways, so my anxiety got really bad there for a few days but since I went back to an increased dosage I'm much calmer. Just a bit tired. And I wasn't able to really enjoy myself down the shore last weekend because I just felt like shit. But I am looking forward to my trip this coming week. My brother comes in on Thursday night and then on Friday I think the 6 of us are going out to dinner somewhere. I would assume at least. Then Saturday morning we are leaving at 7am *ugh kill me! lol* for the shore so we don't sit in traffic and we are going straight to Uncle Bill's pancake house in Strathmere, but I think I may run to DD at like 6am and get a red eye or a double espresso iced latte. I'm gonna need something!
I'm watching Sex and the City and I must say that Miranda is a really good friend to Carrie I think. I think it's interesting how they end up meeting each other in the Summer and the City book. This is a sad episode. it's where Miranda's mom dies. They cut out the part where the stranger makes her feel better in the store when she is buying her shitty black dress. =(( Oh well.

I'm going to the Phillies game again tomorrow with Gail and Matt. We wanted to bring Gail's boyfriend but he can't go. Gail and Brian are so cute. =)) Matt's whole family is awesome. I like them all. His grandpop really likes me. I like him too and his girlfriend who has excellent style. Matt jokingly said he was going to have to run out and buy a ring today to ask me to marry him at the game, lol! I would be so embarassed but it would be really sweet and memorable. Kelsey *my cuz* said that that would be a perfect spot for me. She goes to a lot of games too because she has partial season tickets. I did want to get them at one point but right now, I don't really need to. Deciding on the spur of the moment is the way to go I think for me. That way hopefully in September I will see Hamels again. I will see if we can figure it out in the beginning of September and when Matt has off work we will go. I'm going to see Worley tomorrow and probably Worley again on the 22nd when I get back from the shore and go to the game. Then I'm going back down the shore. I have to talk to my friend Serial to see when we can hangout down there. I know the 14th is a definite. I haven't been texting too much this week cos if I use my phone I usually make a call cos Matt doesn't like texting. And I know he likes to hear the sound of my voice, as I his. =))
We went to Friendly's for lunch. Today was my cheat day altho I didn't really cheat on my diet that bad. I did have a Sundae but I hardly ate my sandwich. I'm going to watch what I eat for dinner and breakfast tomorrow I'll have a bagel thin with a Laughing Cow cheese triangle. Or peanut butter. Whoooo I am tired. I wonder why I am so tired. Maybe I'll take a nap but it looks like it's gonna rain or storm so that might keep me up dammit. Yeah there are dark clouds outside so it probably will storm soon like they said it was going to. I'll put on the 6 oclock news and check the weather in a minute. Four people got struck by lightning on Friday down the shore. It didn't even rain where I was in Sea Isle City, NJ. I love the shore and can't wait to go back. For an extended stay too. Just heard thunder. I still haven't decided what I'm going to read while I'm down there but I'll figure it out. I still am interested in reading the Host. Right now I'm reading "Babyville" by Jane Green. She is a good writer but her stories are really hit or miss on if you're going to like them or not. They can be a bit dry.
I put on the news but they're talking about the death of Andy Reid's son Garrett. Okay now they're talking about the storms. It says in 8 mins it will hit Norristown *the heart of hell* and so it will probably hit me in like 5-10 minutes. I just hope my Pickle Pixie is okay. Anyways, Garrett Reid probably died from a drug overdose. You sometimes need to hit rock bottom to realize that your life has taken a wrong path but often times it doesn't work. I feel awful for those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I've been there, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to want your pain taken away. But from my recent experiences it's better to "be patient" as MJK says in his tool song the patient. " Must keep reminding myself of this I must keep reminding myself of this...if there were no rewards to reap, no loving embrace to see me thru, this tedious path i've chosen here, i certainly wouldve walked away by now." How embarassing for the Reid family for his kid being in prison. I am guessing nothing could have saved Garrett. I wonder if my cousin Matt can be saved. He's been crying for help for a long time now, and I wish there was something I could do to help him. When you're in that state tho you can't figure out what is right and what's wrong and how to deal with it. All you can see is the here and now, and you want immediate gratification. But it's not always possible. Like I said, be patient. What's a month in the hospital compared to years worth of chasing drugs and trying to score to fix that problem that just won't go away and still won't even with the drugs? I just can't imagine not being healthy again. In good news with that I've been checking my blood sugar and it was pretty low the other day compared to how high it was a few months ago. I've been walking and doing some form of exercise from 30-45 mins daily with a day off every 6 or 7 days. Last time I went 9 days without rest and that might be why I have been so tired. Tomorrow in the morning I'm going to go to the gym, then I have a dentist appointment *I know you love me my friends at Blue Bell Dental! lol-Kim!* then I will get changed and go to the game. We are going to have dinner at Xfinity Live. Gail has never been there so it will be cool.
I just thought of something: Sea Isle City should have a "rodney" like OCM does. Okay severe thunderstorm warning, but it isn't really bad at all here. It's pretty dark here tho. Oh well. I'm going to wrap this up. Thanks for reading! -laura