In my platforms I hit the floor... fell facedown, it didn't help my brain out...

*the title is because I have been getting a lot of wear out of my platforms that I bought a few weeks ago.* Today and the rest of this past week have been good. Life has been really good lately. I'm looking forward to going to the shore this weekend, then the Phillies/Giants game on Sunday with Matt. Hopefully they will win and it will be the first game I see them win this year besides the On Deck preseason game they won with Hamels. *Hollywood Hamels as we like to call him. He is so hot. So is most of the team tho.* Anyways, I had therapy today and I worked out this morning after going to Double TT for breakfast and having a few good cups of coffee. I am enjoying working out, its just when I go a lot of people are using the machines and it gets kind of annoying when you are trying to work thru a circuit and people are taking their grand old time with it. Oh well. I am going to incorporate working out more than just once a day into my schedule. When I am down the shore I am going to walk daily and maybe do some ab exercises along with plyos. That's always fun and it will keep me from gaining weight back while I am going out to eat every night I am down there. I will be there for about 2 weeks, but am coming back so I can go to another Phillies game with Matt, his sister, his Dad and his Dad's girlfriend and our friend Rich. Rich is a nice guy. Matt finally introduced me to him, and he said I was a keeper or something to that effect. Matt and I talk about getting married someday but right now I don't want to be in a relationship. Altho we practically are. But I have been trying to maintain my independence for as long as I can. Loser really fucked with my head *You promised me heaven, but put me thru hell.* That's the perfect way to describe it. He really was full of shit. But I don't want to waste my time or energy on someone who is a waste of space and a deadbeat father. What was I thinking getting involved with someone like him? I think I was desperate... that's what I had to be. But I'm certainly not desperate now. Anyways, I have been eating a lot better *Just had some string cheese that Mr. Buddy was eyeballing me for* and I have been reading a lot about diet and exercise. Trying to keep healthy things around me and keep motivated to work out everyday for at least 30 mins. The weight is flying off me, which is wonderful. I hope people don't recognize me. But eventually I will be at that stage. Oh god, windows is being a pain in the ass again, so I am going to wrap this up unofruntatley cos I can't see what I am typing. Okay, maybe I have fixed it now. Anyways, I am going to try to update this regularly, and to keep a log of things I do and opinions I have and such. Writing is so cathartic. I also have some ideas for some short stories to write. And I will read read read. Reading is so important if you want to be able to be a good writer. I just wish I could figure out what the hell Windows wants from me in order to not have it pulling at the whole screen. Oh well. I think I am going to go and make some dinner and then finish Nantucket Nights by Elin Hildebrand. Matt bought me another one of her books last night, and after I'm done this I'm going to read something else, but I'm not sure what exactly yet. I think for my few weeks down the shore I'm going to read The Host by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. And also a book by Marian Keyes, but I haven't decided which one yet. I also will probably bring down I Remember You by Harriet Evans. And probably something short and sweet as well. I plan on reading a lot while I am there. I am not sure what I am going to read next because I plan on taking something to the shore with me on Friday. But if I read a lot of it by Thursday, then I won't be able to take it. So I'll see. I'll have to check out what I have, because I've been going thru books so fast lately. Anyways, maybe I'll post again later, but probably I won't until tomorrow because if I write later, it's going to be a short story.

Can't sleep...

Hey all... it's a lovely 630am on a Tuesday morning and I can't sleep anymore. I took 2 extra rozerem and they FAILED. Now I only have one of them left. Great. I don't know how i'm going to get to sleep the next few nights. I'm gonna call JC at 7am and see if I can get in earlier. I'm drinking water even though I usually try not to eat or drink anything before I get weighed.

Anyways, Jimmy Fallon popped into my dream last night. I don't remember what he was doing there but it was something amusing. I need to watch that show again soon. He was funny on the Marriage Ref last week. I tried getting through to my friend that those are the kinds of problems she should be having with her boyfriend, not cheating issues. But HEALTHY problems. But I don't think she wants to hear it. I feel bad for my friends who are so wrapped up in relationships that they can't get out of them. It's better to be alone than miserable, but I think some people just like the dramatic lifestyle. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I got out.

Listening to Delerium radio and kinda wondering what this song is...Seoan? Never heard of them or him, sounds kinda like Tricky or Massive Attack.
Anyways, that is all for now... thanks for reading...
-Laura

So Happy I Could Die and It's Alright

I haven't written in a while. Just haven't really felt like it. My moods have been low recently. They always get like this at the approach of spring. I don't know why. It's really warm out today, and I don't know. I was enjoying being in my car with the AC cranked. Not that I like the winter or anything, I think it sucks and I'm excited baseball season is just about upon us *marvelous in FL by the way* but I don't know. A lot of shit has got me down, especially the prospect of not being able to go to my --- okay my computer turned off right there... ridiculous, yes... and I don't know why... I swear if my computer crashes Dell is going to get an earful...

Anyways, the prospect of not being able to go to my brother's graduation because of my sleeping patterns. I can't sleep and when I do sleep it's for a long period of time to make up for my lack of sleep the other times.

Most of you who are important know what diet plan I'm on. I somehow managed to lose 14 lbs from early January to early March, and then added another 4 lbs last week. I'm following a program. I haven't thrown working out into it yet because I've just been so exhausted. What I don't understand is the people who exercise and shit and don't eat clean. Someone is bbq'ing outside right now, I can smell it, but I have to follow this for now. Even if I am hungry. Okay, now it just smells like the charcoals burning and it smells close by. At least it's not the smell of the Hatfield plant which is just disgusting.

I'm not going to talk about my "relationship" cos that's not what this blog is really for. "You can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest, that I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, knowing that I must pass this test, so just pull the trigger..."-- Russian Roullette... Rihanna

Ah, I gotta do homework. I have a rough draft of a paper due tomorrow and I haven't started that yet. Plus the quiz and responding to people on the discussion board. My favorite topic was this week: Personality Disorders. Hopefully, my financial documents got to Ashford in time and I can take the Intro to Clinical Psychology course I want that starts during the last week of this course. I should write most of my paper now, even though I don't feel like it, because then I won't have to do so much when the classes overlap.

Anyways, I get weighed on Tuesday, so hopefully I dropped some more weight. I plan on throwing some intervals into the mix. Just a bit of cardio. When I used to binge on cardio I used to also binge on food. Even though I looked good, I still had issues with eating. I don't want to get back to that.

Let's go Phillies!
Thanks for reading.
-Laura

Lalalalala...

I just got done doing some upper body exercises. I really don't feel upto doing anything else today. That's 5 days of some sort of activity. I've been drinking a gallon of water a day lately. I suppose it will help. I'm not convinced yet. A friend asked if I felt better cos of it, and I didn't want to say no, but the truth is, no I don't. I'm just peeing a lot more. Like you needed to know that.

Anyways, I'm in Stat and got back my first assignment from last week and got full credit for the two posts. I didn't really know what to respond to my classmates so I just wrote really whatever.

My neighbor has been using my treadmill. She lost 7 lbs in a week and a few days. She walks a lot too. Me... I had lost 3 lbs, now the scale is being weird and fluctuating. I think it's because of all the water. I need to increase my workouts or something. Even though I am eating mostly veggies and smart ones dinners and stuff. And drinking all that water. I don't know what to do really. I'll ask my nutritionist I guess. Maybe I need to cut something out.

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I just watched Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. I thought Supernatural was kinda a bland episode till the ending when Lucifer showed up. I was like, oh no way! Bill was right, it's brother against brother. Craziness. When I first started watching this show I never expected this. Any of this. Just so good.

Anyways, I gotta get a shower and wash my hair. It really needs some deep conditioning. I bleached it last week. I need to condition it at least a few times a week now. Thanks for reading!
-Laura

I'm bored again.

I haven't written in about a week, so I figured I would update this a bit. Anyways, I've lost 2 lbs so far in the past week or so. I am happy with that, but also kinda annoyed that my 2nd cousin has posted tagged photos of me on facebook. I know she means well, but I don't want people seeing my fat ass. Anyways, I've decided I'm going to try and workout every day in some way. I've been drinking a lot of water just to flush everything out of my system. And eating a lot of veggies. So that's that on the diet front.

I started my Statistics class today. I'm terrified and I read the guidelines for the final paper and I'm like WTF already... I don't have a clue what I'm going to write about. Or how I'm going to go about writing it. I have a feeling this is how I'm going to feel when I get to graduate school. Like WTF am I doing here? But I figure I'll get it eventually.

Anyways, I don't have much else to say except that Kanye West is a troubled jackass. Thank you president Obama for that.