In my platforms I hit the floor... fell facedown, it didn't help my brain out...

*the title is because I have been getting a lot of wear out of my platforms that I bought a few weeks ago.* Today and the rest of this past week have been good. Life has been really good lately. I'm looking forward to going to the shore this weekend, then the Phillies/Giants game on Sunday with Matt. Hopefully they will win and it will be the first game I see them win this year besides the On Deck preseason game they won with Hamels. *Hollywood Hamels as we like to call him. He is so hot. So is most of the team tho.* Anyways, I had therapy today and I worked out this morning after going to Double TT for breakfast and having a few good cups of coffee. I am enjoying working out, its just when I go a lot of people are using the machines and it gets kind of annoying when you are trying to work thru a circuit and people are taking their grand old time with it. Oh well. I am going to incorporate working out more than just once a day into my schedule. When I am down the shore I am going to walk daily and maybe do some ab exercises along with plyos. That's always fun and it will keep me from gaining weight back while I am going out to eat every night I am down there. I will be there for about 2 weeks, but am coming back so I can go to another Phillies game with Matt, his sister, his Dad and his Dad's girlfriend and our friend Rich. Rich is a nice guy. Matt finally introduced me to him, and he said I was a keeper or something to that effect. Matt and I talk about getting married someday but right now I don't want to be in a relationship. Altho we practically are. But I have been trying to maintain my independence for as long as I can. Loser really fucked with my head *You promised me heaven, but put me thru hell.* That's the perfect way to describe it. He really was full of shit. But I don't want to waste my time or energy on someone who is a waste of space and a deadbeat father. What was I thinking getting involved with someone like him? I think I was desperate... that's what I had to be. But I'm certainly not desperate now. Anyways, I have been eating a lot better *Just had some string cheese that Mr. Buddy was eyeballing me for* and I have been reading a lot about diet and exercise. Trying to keep healthy things around me and keep motivated to work out everyday for at least 30 mins. The weight is flying off me, which is wonderful. I hope people don't recognize me. But eventually I will be at that stage. Oh god, windows is being a pain in the ass again, so I am going to wrap this up unofruntatley cos I can't see what I am typing. Okay, maybe I have fixed it now. Anyways, I am going to try to update this regularly, and to keep a log of things I do and opinions I have and such. Writing is so cathartic. I also have some ideas for some short stories to write. And I will read read read. Reading is so important if you want to be able to be a good writer. I just wish I could figure out what the hell Windows wants from me in order to not have it pulling at the whole screen. Oh well. I think I am going to go and make some dinner and then finish Nantucket Nights by Elin Hildebrand. Matt bought me another one of her books last night, and after I'm done this I'm going to read something else, but I'm not sure what exactly yet. I think for my few weeks down the shore I'm going to read The Host by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. And also a book by Marian Keyes, but I haven't decided which one yet. I also will probably bring down I Remember You by Harriet Evans. And probably something short and sweet as well. I plan on reading a lot while I am there. I am not sure what I am going to read next because I plan on taking something to the shore with me on Friday. But if I read a lot of it by Thursday, then I won't be able to take it. So I'll see. I'll have to check out what I have, because I've been going thru books so fast lately. Anyways, maybe I'll post again later, but probably I won't until tomorrow because if I write later, it's going to be a short story.

Pride and Prejudice

I recently have read the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and was expecting it to be a bit better than I thought it was. It takes at least halfway through the book for the story to begin to develop as you have to get the background on everyone really at first. The two character's of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy don't really get together till the end. It is more than halfway through the story that you find out his attraction to her, and then later her attraction to him. I can see reading this in high school, but not for fun really. I still like to read my post-modern books that may soon be seen as classics when I'm long gone from this life. Honestly, I think kids in school should be reading post-modern work as it is in this time period. Although I did take one of my books that was favorited by me in high school back to my apartment to read once again eventually: Great Expectations. I also look to read some of my Stephen King books that I put on the backburner because they are so long. I am not so sure I want to read Anna Karenina anymore, so I am not going to order it anytime soon. I am looking forward to reading Candace Bushnell's latest come April and then the long awaited *since September!* book by Emily Giffin which got mixed reviews, but her books are always so good, I don't see how there can be any fault with it. My friend Chrissy is hooked on her now. =) She says she wishes her life was like the first book, without the "i'm sleeping with my best friend's fiance" to it. I totally agreed.

Anyways, not much else is going on. I get my CPAP machine on Thursday afternoon. The guy *Joe* is going to show me how to use it. If you don't know what a CPAP machine is, it's for sleep apnea. I found out I stopped breathing over 600 times an hour. Meaning, I never really got sleep. Which would explain my accident. But I really don't want to think about that right now as it's been 5 months since then and it's just not pleasant to think about. Although everytime I look in the mirror and see the scar on my chin from the airbag I am reminded of it. Thanks god!

My 28th birthday has come and gone, and I got some really nice gifts and had a good time at my party. It's my first year in 5 where I haven't gotten roses for Valentine's day. I don't really mind it though. They're a pain in the ass to take care of anyway.

For some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about Oliver and Liz. I dreamt Liz was still alive and that it was all a big joke. I dream that often. I have mixed feelings about how I would respond to that. In the dream I am always upset by it, not even relieved for her to be alive. I don't know why. I always wake up thinking that she's drastically changed my life again, but then realize it's not true. I have to get back in touch with her mother. As for Oliver. I look at his picture and just cry. I tried to relate this to my brother who lost his dog when he got divorced and he said it's been really hard without her. He said he almost went to the pound the other day and rescued a puppy. I think it would be good for him, but he's so busy he wouldn't have the time to give to it. I think once he moves, after he accepts a job. Either in Tampa or Colorado. We all need a companion, whether it be human or an animal. I'd like a kitten but right now I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere that I don't think it would be fair to have a kitten just yet. Although I would introduce it to Buddy. =) A kitten is just what the Old Man Buddy needs for his playful streak.

Anyways, I ordered a CD of hynopsis for sleep. I should get it in the mail in the next couple of days. A long with my textbook for class. I forgot we had no mail on Monday cos of President's day, and I expected to have my book today, but alas, I'll have it tomorrow. At least I better. I took a lot of tylenol PM tonight. I'm not gonna say how much because I don't want anyone else to freak out on me because it is MY liver, and there's a disturbed lyric that I really relate to "I want you to quicken my end" so anything to get me out of this shitty predicament that my life has become and meanwhile will put me to sleep I welcome with open arms. Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight, maybe I won't. But, we'll see...
Thanks for reading...
-Laura

Dating Without Novacaine

Watching the Rhihanna story on ABC. I don't really have anything to say except that I've been there, and she's right "Eff love... cos it's so blind..." I totally agree with that statement. I was in an abusive relationship for 2 plus years and I didn't get out till he broke up with ME... I often wonder if he's abusing his gf, or wife if she and he are married. I wouldn't be surprised if he was.

Anyways, found out something really disturbing that happened to my friend on Monday, and it just holds true that my beliefs that the dating website plentyoffish.com is filled with psychos and weirdos and creeps. I wish my friend hadn't had to find out the hard way. Luckily, the only people I met from there that were nuts live far away from me. He's in the porn industry. What a great job for this guy who described himself as a self-made millionaire. He left his ex gf and son back in Oregon? to proceed with this "career"... one of the other guys I met on there remains my friend and worries that he may be seen as creepy. I think his profile is too safe and innocent for that to happen. Just beware any future users of POF... it's really an unsafe environment. I met one creepy guy off there who practically demanded to come back to my apartment to have sex. Thanks for the Starbucks though!

Moving on... so it's been over 2 weeks now and my face hasn't healed completely. I have some burn marks on my chin and going up to my nose and I still have some bumps and bruises on my chest (side note: Jesus christ could my parent's make it any hotter in the house? I'm dying). The burn marks on my nose are kinda annoying cos you can tell I'm missing skin on the tip of my nose so my pores are like HELLO! I've been covering it up with makeup and been pretty successful so far with it. Except for the fact of looking a bit orange today, but that's okay, I have that Day-Glo thing going on ;)

Anyways, you all know I love the Phillies. Well, they went to the World Series and lost to the Yankees. It would've been cool if they had won again, but the Yankees are a bought team. They bought their way to the World Series. Anyways, I made some friends on twitter on PhilliesNation and PhilliesPeeps this past season and of course my good friend Allen Schatz aka @raschatz *hopefully he'll still talk to me when he's the best selling author of his book Game 7* anyways, so I friended one of the head's of Phillies Nation and he wrote up an article of what happened at the World Series and I think he can sum it up better than I can so here's his article:
http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/content/article/why-the-philles-lost-the-world-series/ written by a very talented soon to be sportswriter if I got that right: Corey Seidman. He made the best point in the article that the shutdowns of Brad Lidge and Cole Hamels were key to the shutdown of the Phils during most of the games. My Dad also said this.

Avon Calling. I so want to be an Avon Lady while I'm in school. They're talking about it on the news right now. I've got like 6 more years, sure I'll be working in the field after I finish my Bachelor's *and of course I'll go back into working slowly for those of you who know my situation* but that PhD is a long way off. And now after this accident I'm kinda wondering if I should ever even buy a Porsche when I can afford one. My parent's are going out to look for a new car for me tomorrow morning.

Anyways, my Best Bud *Buddy- my favorite kitty in the whole world* is laying on my laptop bag next to me. He's such a doll. I love his little paws. Okay, I'm shutting up now. Oh, I got the piercing that they took out of my ear back in. Thank god. I just need someone to put the ball on it. Thanks for reading!
-Laura