Things get damaged, things get broken...

So i haven't updated this in months, but Nicole has livejournal and I wanted to join that but I figure this is easier to just use instead of all the signing up bullshit...
So the Phillies have been really sucking lately, but the last 2 games they really sparked and gave their all and it really helped them because they won. Against the team who was in the lead in the NL. =)) *happy dance*...

I had to retake the DMV exam road test because that's what the court decided. I took it and passed with flying colors. I would like to find out if I can get the points taken off my license since I retook the test, but I'll call my lawyer on Monday about it. I won't be a pain in the ass about it, i'll just see what he thinks about it. So the whole fiasco with the accident is over. My lawyer called too and he said there's no need to go to court this coming Monday so I'm home free! Thank god. I hated getting up at 5am to get ready for court.

Anyways, I am no longer involved with anyone, altho I may be with someone else soon. We'll see what happens next weekend. You know who you are. As for the guy I was seeing, let's just say I really *fucked* things up big time and I couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to hurt people and I knew if he found out some certain things it would've really hurt him. But we're staying friends. Which is okay with me. it's not it's Justin I'm trying to be friends with. But anyways, I got dicked over by another guy in a really awful situation and it's just not right. Everyone is telling me he's not worth it, but I don't know what to think. I know I have a lot going for me, it's just he's really hot... lol... stupid reason I know...

Almost done my Bachelor's in Psychology... March 28th is the date when I'm done... I have one more Psych class left actually and then I'm onto my general education courses and my electives. One of my electives is the Psychology of Criminal Behavior so that's kinda a psych course but it's in Criminal Justice. I have another Criminal Justice class too. My next class is Applied Project which I can probably get into today but I have somewhere to go. Maybe later tonight I'll take a look at it when I get home. I'm gonna FINALLY watch Shutter Island. I still remember the ending in the book and everyone talks about the ending in the movie so I'm figuring it's the same thing, altho you kinda see part of it coming. But then there's just this whole other part to it that's like, woah wtf? That's kinda what the girl with the dragon tattoo book was like... I've read a lot of books since I last posted, including the green mile... I haven't had much time to read lately, but I am reading "A total waste of makeup" which is funny but not exactly sensational. I'm trying to get someone to read Valley of the Dolls. I got her to read Candy which just is perfect if you work with addicts, but Valley of the Dolls was so before it's time. I'm currently looking for Lord of the Flies and I want to re-read Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dan got me Anna Karenina for my birthday and I'm gonna read part of that next. I have to read it in sections or it's gonna take my life, lol. Pride and Prejudice was awful to read. I really didn't like that book. I don't know what I'm gonna read in between Anna Karenina or what not, but probably the author of the Time Traveler's Wife's next book. I ordered it and it will be at my apt on Monday or Tuesday. I hope I get my textbook by then.

Anyways, I better finish getting ready and get the hell out of here... thanks for reading!
-laura
ps- henry's graduation was phenomenal... I had an awesome weekend that weekend...
pps- i may get my next tattoo next week sometime... the star on my arm... tiny, but i want it...

Pride and Prejudice

I recently have read the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and was expecting it to be a bit better than I thought it was. It takes at least halfway through the book for the story to begin to develop as you have to get the background on everyone really at first. The two character's of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy don't really get together till the end. It is more than halfway through the story that you find out his attraction to her, and then later her attraction to him. I can see reading this in high school, but not for fun really. I still like to read my post-modern books that may soon be seen as classics when I'm long gone from this life. Honestly, I think kids in school should be reading post-modern work as it is in this time period. Although I did take one of my books that was favorited by me in high school back to my apartment to read once again eventually: Great Expectations. I also look to read some of my Stephen King books that I put on the backburner because they are so long. I am not so sure I want to read Anna Karenina anymore, so I am not going to order it anytime soon. I am looking forward to reading Candace Bushnell's latest come April and then the long awaited *since September!* book by Emily Giffin which got mixed reviews, but her books are always so good, I don't see how there can be any fault with it. My friend Chrissy is hooked on her now. =) She says she wishes her life was like the first book, without the "i'm sleeping with my best friend's fiance" to it. I totally agreed.

Anyways, not much else is going on. I get my CPAP machine on Thursday afternoon. The guy *Joe* is going to show me how to use it. If you don't know what a CPAP machine is, it's for sleep apnea. I found out I stopped breathing over 600 times an hour. Meaning, I never really got sleep. Which would explain my accident. But I really don't want to think about that right now as it's been 5 months since then and it's just not pleasant to think about. Although everytime I look in the mirror and see the scar on my chin from the airbag I am reminded of it. Thanks god!

My 28th birthday has come and gone, and I got some really nice gifts and had a good time at my party. It's my first year in 5 where I haven't gotten roses for Valentine's day. I don't really mind it though. They're a pain in the ass to take care of anyway.

For some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about Oliver and Liz. I dreamt Liz was still alive and that it was all a big joke. I dream that often. I have mixed feelings about how I would respond to that. In the dream I am always upset by it, not even relieved for her to be alive. I don't know why. I always wake up thinking that she's drastically changed my life again, but then realize it's not true. I have to get back in touch with her mother. As for Oliver. I look at his picture and just cry. I tried to relate this to my brother who lost his dog when he got divorced and he said it's been really hard without her. He said he almost went to the pound the other day and rescued a puppy. I think it would be good for him, but he's so busy he wouldn't have the time to give to it. I think once he moves, after he accepts a job. Either in Tampa or Colorado. We all need a companion, whether it be human or an animal. I'd like a kitten but right now I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere that I don't think it would be fair to have a kitten just yet. Although I would introduce it to Buddy. =) A kitten is just what the Old Man Buddy needs for his playful streak.

Anyways, I ordered a CD of hynopsis for sleep. I should get it in the mail in the next couple of days. A long with my textbook for class. I forgot we had no mail on Monday cos of President's day, and I expected to have my book today, but alas, I'll have it tomorrow. At least I better. I took a lot of tylenol PM tonight. I'm not gonna say how much because I don't want anyone else to freak out on me because it is MY liver, and there's a disturbed lyric that I really relate to "I want you to quicken my end" so anything to get me out of this shitty predicament that my life has become and meanwhile will put me to sleep I welcome with open arms. Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight, maybe I won't. But, we'll see...
Thanks for reading...
-Laura

Sleep Test etc. etc.

I had the sleep test on Wednesday night and it turns out I do have sleep apnea. I could kinda tell last night when I woke up a bunch of times. Probably because I stopped breathing. I'm still taking Tylenol PM to get to sleep. Along with the Temazepam. Which doesn't really do anything on it's own.

I'm at my parent's house for the night b/c I need to do research for my rough draft of my paper *yes another one* that is due this week.

I got some letters from my lawyer saying my court date is now moved to April 12, so hopefully I won't have to go to court at all. I have the second part of my sleep test tomorrow night in Lansdale. It's kinda interesting. They put you in your own room and they video and audio record you sleeping. It felt like I barely slept cos I was out for like 6 hours and then they woke me up. But it was snowing when I got up. That was kinda fun to wake up to.

Anyways, I'm currently reading "The Dirty Girls Social Club" but it's taking me forever to read cos I haven't had time. I'm not even through the first chapter. Then I'm gonna read "Getting over It" by Anna Maxted whose books I have read a few of. Then "Valley of the Dolls". I found that gem at the paperback trader. I'm tempted to go to that store today, but I'm holding off on it. I also bought "Pride and Prejudice" and "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". Don't know which order I'll get to those though. I also have 2 other Donna Kauffman books to read. I went on her author's page on Amazon and she looks just like I expected her to look. Which was cool. I like her, she's funny and her books are entertaining. I also have another Lori Foster book to read, and I saw a few of hers at the paperback trader. So I've got lots of reading to do, just gotta make the time. Supernatural and Vampire Diaries are back on on Thursdays. And 90210 and Melrose Place start again on March 9th. That seems forever away.

My birthday is coming up. Can't believe I'm gonna be 28. My brother was married by my age. But he's also divorced *thank god* now. I'm not gonna diss the Poli's, cos it's a waste of breath, but I am so happy to have my brother back.

I should do my quiz for the week for school. Maybe later. I'm not up for it right now.
Thanks for reading.
-Laura

Damsel in Distress

So I am down the shore again. Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been really busy with schoolwork. But there's some stuff to get caught up on. Well, I just finished a power point presentation about myself for my class. That was easier than I thought it would be. But I have to do a power point presentation for the paper that is due next week or so. I'm gonna write the rough draft of the paper tomorrow. I knew I had a lot of work to do while I was down here. Thankfully I still have the AT&T air card.
Anyways, so my brother's divorce is still going on. And I am so fucking pissed off at that family right now. His ex wife didn't tell my brother when she was terminating her job and when the insurance which he was on when he was married to her would stop. My brother has a severe case of juvenile diabetes. Not the overweight kind, but the kind you can die from from seizures and stuff. My brother relies on insurance in order to get his medication and like a bitch she doesn't tell him when it ended. He had literally days to get back on the insurance. But luckily he is on it. I'm so excited and so is the rest of my family that he is coming home to PA to stay at my parent's house for the first time in 5 years. My dad looked so happy tonight to have his son back. And my brother will be going to my Dad's birthday dinner. I'm going to make it a point to sit near him. I want to fix things with him and even have emailed him offering my apartment for him to stay at in case the cats bug him too much. Pixie doesn't even know him, and Buddy probably doesn't remember him much. My brother never payed much attention to the cats since he's allergic. But I'm excited.
I also went to a Phillies game last Sunday. It was awesome. I think I'll put on some of the music they played at the game now on my ipod since I'm listening to it. First I'm gonna listen to the rest of Britney's Circus album. It's just so good.
I'm going to be seeing my nutritionist again on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to getting some more insight from her. I've been working my ass off working out and stuff but I need some extra help from a professional. I have a fan on twitter who is really pulling for her. She owns the site www.smashfitness.com She's really cool. I also talk to another guy on there who is named Joe and his site is www.workout.com which is a site w/ daily workouts to do. You can modify them to fit your fitness level. It's hard for me to do some things because my boobs are so big. But I'm working on it. Anyways, I could write a ton more, but I should probably get to bed. I was really tired a little bit ago and I kinda want to get to bed so I can go on the beach tomorrow and read. Hopefully I won't get too sunburned. =)
Goodnight.
-Laura

Insomnia and Danzig

This song always makes me think of my brother and everything that happened and how I just want forgiveness one more time. So I dedicate this song to my brother, Henry Winterbottom...
"Just Stop"
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Step back a moment, and look at the miracle starting in our life
Don't stop the moment, and let the incredible happen knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
To be the best in the world
Just stop with all of your little deliberate problems with my life
Enough of all the crippling, terrible pain we feel inside
Step back a moment, remember how the miracle started in our life
Take back the torment; I won't be enjoying this moment knowing that
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done
We can hide
We'll be the best in the world
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done
We can hide
We'll be the best in the world
We'll be the best in the world
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life


I got 0 sleep last night... I tried to sleep for about 2 hours without even dozing off... I took over 25 pills to help me sleep and NOTHING... I see my doctor on the 4th, but who knows what he can even give me for this problem... we've used up all our resources... i think it's time to take some elavil...
Matt has my house keys cos he went to apply at Lowe's. I don't know why he would want to work in front of the Hatfield meat packing place. Everytime I drive past there I cringe. And I really hate seeing the trucks with the pigs on them. I had a ham and cheese sandwich 2 days ago and I thought about it. I don't know if I'm going to be having ham again anytime soon, even though it's so good. I just feel bad for those pigs being shipped off to the slaughterhouse. It makes me really sad and want to cry inside.
Anyways, still listening to my 'Tallica station on Pandora... yeah it rocks... it even played Danzig's most popular song for me "Mother"... I hadn't heard that song in a long long time... I know it's going to be a better day today...
-Laura