Things get damaged, things get broken...

So i haven't updated this in months, but Nicole has livejournal and I wanted to join that but I figure this is easier to just use instead of all the signing up bullshit...
So the Phillies have been really sucking lately, but the last 2 games they really sparked and gave their all and it really helped them because they won. Against the team who was in the lead in the NL. =)) *happy dance*...

I had to retake the DMV exam road test because that's what the court decided. I took it and passed with flying colors. I would like to find out if I can get the points taken off my license since I retook the test, but I'll call my lawyer on Monday about it. I won't be a pain in the ass about it, i'll just see what he thinks about it. So the whole fiasco with the accident is over. My lawyer called too and he said there's no need to go to court this coming Monday so I'm home free! Thank god. I hated getting up at 5am to get ready for court.

Anyways, I am no longer involved with anyone, altho I may be with someone else soon. We'll see what happens next weekend. You know who you are. As for the guy I was seeing, let's just say I really *fucked* things up big time and I couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to hurt people and I knew if he found out some certain things it would've really hurt him. But we're staying friends. Which is okay with me. it's not it's Justin I'm trying to be friends with. But anyways, I got dicked over by another guy in a really awful situation and it's just not right. Everyone is telling me he's not worth it, but I don't know what to think. I know I have a lot going for me, it's just he's really hot... lol... stupid reason I know...

Almost done my Bachelor's in Psychology... March 28th is the date when I'm done... I have one more Psych class left actually and then I'm onto my general education courses and my electives. One of my electives is the Psychology of Criminal Behavior so that's kinda a psych course but it's in Criminal Justice. I have another Criminal Justice class too. My next class is Applied Project which I can probably get into today but I have somewhere to go. Maybe later tonight I'll take a look at it when I get home. I'm gonna FINALLY watch Shutter Island. I still remember the ending in the book and everyone talks about the ending in the movie so I'm figuring it's the same thing, altho you kinda see part of it coming. But then there's just this whole other part to it that's like, woah wtf? That's kinda what the girl with the dragon tattoo book was like... I've read a lot of books since I last posted, including the green mile... I haven't had much time to read lately, but I am reading "A total waste of makeup" which is funny but not exactly sensational. I'm trying to get someone to read Valley of the Dolls. I got her to read Candy which just is perfect if you work with addicts, but Valley of the Dolls was so before it's time. I'm currently looking for Lord of the Flies and I want to re-read Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dan got me Anna Karenina for my birthday and I'm gonna read part of that next. I have to read it in sections or it's gonna take my life, lol. Pride and Prejudice was awful to read. I really didn't like that book. I don't know what I'm gonna read in between Anna Karenina or what not, but probably the author of the Time Traveler's Wife's next book. I ordered it and it will be at my apt on Monday or Tuesday. I hope I get my textbook by then.

Anyways, I better finish getting ready and get the hell out of here... thanks for reading!
-laura
ps- henry's graduation was phenomenal... I had an awesome weekend that weekend...
pps- i may get my next tattoo next week sometime... the star on my arm... tiny, but i want it...

Cos I'm a free bitch baby!

Happy New Year! Sorry I didn't post at all in December... my mood really dipped low and so I wasn't up for anything really. Even the class I was excited about taking wasn't enjoyable. So I'm hoping my next two courses are. Physiological Psychology is the course that starts tomorrow. We have to keep a weekly journal as an assignment, so at least I don't have to write a paper in week 2! I like keeping a journal for classes on what I think of topics. Reminds me of my days as an English major.

Anyways, Christmas came and went and I got a bunch of good stuff. I don't know if I had my new car yet when I posted this last, was but it's a Ford Taurus. I miss my Explorer but nothing can be done. I don't really want to discuss the accident and the fact that I'm having trouble getting doctors to fill out paperwork but that's what has really been bugging me lately. I'm probably going to lose my license. I don't know how I'm going to get it back. So I'm kinda setting up a home gym in my living room. I'm waiting for my Dad to drop off the stationary bike. I have my treadmill and a bunch of DVD's too. And I need to get my heavier weights back from my neighbor who I lent them to. I may get my 10's here. Wish I had 15's so I could really isolate certain muscles... I would like a 30 lb bar for upright rows. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

I have a lot of appointments this week. One of my new year's resolutions is to try to keep all my appointments. It's gonna be hard cos I'm still having a lot of problems sleeping. But now I'm taking Tylenol PM and on Wednesday when I see the doctor I'm going to ask to try Restoril (temazapam). It says on askapatient.com that is really works, so I'm hoping that's my saving grace. Fuck the Ativan. It doesn't work anymore. But I see a new PCP today. He was my brother's doctor and helped him a lot when he found out he had Type 1 diabetes so I'm hoping he's good. My parent's also switched. So fuck you Linda Nadwodny. Yeah I said your name bitch.

Oh yeah, I dyed my hair burgundy red. I like it. At first I was in shock, and then I liked it, then I didn't, now I like it. It looks alright down to me, especially straight. And getting it straight isn't hard to do thanks to my flat iron and hair dryer. I have Lady Gaga's Paparazzi in my head. I always have this song or Bad Romance by her in my head. I think she's awesome.

Anyways, I hung out with Dan and Matt on New Year's Eve. Brad had a party to go to, so I didn't go to that cos I really wasn't up for partying. Serial sent me video of "Closer" done by Mr. Greengenes on NYE. It's kinda our "song"... lol... I wanna fuck you like an animal... he's actually the one who gave me the idea to try tylenol pm to get to sleep since he's the insomniac king.

Anyways, I've read a bunch of books since I last wrote, but I'm gonna just write about two of them. One I had saved for when my parent's were away in Florida and I read it at their house. It's my 2nd favorite book of 2009. "One Fifth Avenue" by Candace Bushnell *author of Sex and the City*... It was awesome and well done and it was what you expect from Bushnell. If only she put out books more quickly, but at least it's quality and not quantity when it comes to her.
The other book I read while I was at my parent's house was "Push" which is by Sapphire. There is a movie called "Precious" which is based on this book. It was different but interesting. Right now I have about 50 pages left of a Contemporary Romance novel I'm reading. I'm gonna finish it this morning and then read probably the book that goes with it. This one is called "Murphy's Law" and the other one is called "Jude's Law"... theyre both by Lori Foster. I'm gonna have to pick up her book "The Secret Life of Bryan"... she can write a good story. I got a bunch of books for Xmas to read and bought some on my own, so I'm pretty good on books probably till April =) Any suggestions I'm happy to take.

Anyways, till next time, thanks for reading!
-Laura
ps- Phillies pitchers and catchers start soon! About a little more than a month away. At least I have that to look forward to.

License

So, someone told Harrisburg of my "medical condition" and the state wants to take away my license. So I have to go through a whole process of getting letters from my doctors stating that I am okay to drive. I'm going to get them from my psychiatrist, my family doctor, my therapist and my case manager. All saying I'm not on those medications anymore and that I am able to drive. I have to go to court for this. My mom thinks I don't understand the severity of this. Yes, I know I could have killed 3 people in the other car, which I'm sure are the ones who wanted my license taken away, which I don't blame them for. But if they knew the situation a bit better... I made a mistake... anyways, hopefully I can get a court date before the scheduled time for me to send in my license. Sucks to be me right about now.

That's all. Watched Garden State with Dan tonight cos he's never seen it. It's a good movie, so I didnt mind watching it again. Tomorrow I have to write my paper for Research Methods. Yay!
Thanks for reading.
-Laura
ps- here is a link to the car my parent's want to get me...

i see you lookin at me like i'm some kinda freak...

Ello... It's October 8th... I think it's been a week since I updated. But nothing much has changed except that the Phils won their first game of the NLDS. Yay! Whenever they get a run I go: "yay!"... i'm such a nerd...
Anyways, so I'm going to a Dark Disco Club show at the end of the month at club Risque... it'll be nice to see some strippers but also to see DDC live which I have yet to do. My old friend said it was okay I be there as long as I'm cool... whatever that means... I don't have a blabbermouth and I think that's what he's afraid of... but I heard he has these really tight pants and I'm interested in seeing this... I'm going w/ Nic... it'll be good to see her... it's been a few months... she's also getting over Jake which I'm proud of her for... He wasn't good for her... And she hit her 90 days sober! I'm so proud of her... it gets easier and easier... the first 90 days are key... I've been sober from pills and pot for 6 months... I didn't realize how bad I was using... you just get wrapped up in it... and this book I read called "Rachel's Holiday" kinda opened my eyes to how bad I was... I was popping 20 klonopin to get high *btw, i found a whole half bottle of klonopin in my makeup bag that I didnt know I had- so I'm using them to help me get to sleep tonight*... I had a bad thought tonight but I won't follow through with it... my mom is probably going to get pain pills and I was thinking of swiping a few of them, but I won't... I don't want to start up the habit again...
Anyways, so I've been reading A LOT... try to devote at least an hour to reading everyday... right now I'm almost done LA Candy by Lauren Conrad. It's okay for a first book. Kinda dry. Doesn't have the humor and stuff of other authors I have read. It's basically just a story with a few minor details in it. I saw someone on the beach reading it. Next I'm gonna read the Time Traveler's Wife.
I'm debating staying overnight at my parent's Friday and Saturday nights. I'm not sure if I want to or not. Matt is coming over on Saturday night to watch the game *if there is one- i'm crossing my fingers there isnt one, and that the Phils have won the series* or we'll watch a horror movie on Demand... he said my life is too public b/c of twitter... I've been trying to save money by not going to the movies... instead last weekend me and Dan rented "Fighting" which I still need to return and I can get a movie for $2 and I'll probably get Rachel Getting Married... cos I've been wanting to see that for a while now... months even... what's funny is all of True Blood is there now... I could rent the first two episodes if I wanted to... *I wanna do bad things with you... hehe*... love that song... love the show... the second season is over now... now I wana see this show on showtime called Dexter... I think it's in it's 3rd season... anyways, i may just stay at my parent's on Saturday night. But then I won't be able to wake up and start working on my paper right away, so probably Friday I'll go over there... I'm planning on writing this Stat paper next weekend... wish me luck...
Anyways, that's all for now really... I'm listening to some Pop right now on Pandora... i've never even heard this song before... oh well... gnite!
-Laura

Today is the day... isnt that a band?

Anyways, today is the day I finally see my psych. I worked out for the first time today, gonna work out to a DVD in my living room a little bit later. I have to go to my parent's after my psych apptment and then do some research for this paper I'm working on.
Anyways, I've been able to sleep the past few nights. I really think it has something to do w/ the caffeine content in my day. When I drink caffeine it seems I can't sleep. And it's caffeine in tea. So I'm trying to limit it to no caffeine after 4-5 pm... I've been falling asleep really easily lately. The day I posted last I took 75 mg's of Elavil and I slept the entire day until 8pm... That's craziness... I hate when I do that... I like this going to bed and waking up around 1030-11am... I wanna try and start waking up by 930-10am... so like an hour's difference... I'll work on it... Thursday I gotta be up earlier to maybe go work out at Curves and then to go to my parent's house then to the dentist... my parent's are going to Florida to visit my brother... so I am taking care of the house from Thursday-Sunday evening. Thursday night I'm going to see Orphan with a new guy. I hope it works out, cos yes, he is my crush. =)

As for that, Matt has been throwing what this guy called a "temper tantrum". I never should have slept with him. Ever since then he has been super clingy to me. He plays games and he even went to the ER for Insomnia. It's like hellllllllllllllo... you're the one who makes people on Medicaid look bad. Nicole was seriously pissed off about it. I got pissed off too. I told him he was acting like a baby going to the ER for stupid things. It's b/c he's bored cos his Daddy took away his internet connection at his apartment, so he has nothing to do when he wakes up or can't get to sleep in the middle of the night. It's like, do what I do, and read. He's not allowed to use my computer anymore, even down the shore, because he looked at porn on it, on my aircard! Pissed me off so much. But he thinks he can get mad at me for liking another guy. I've vented much of this frustration to other people, but still... he gets upset, when he's talking to other girls! But see, I don't give a rats ass about that, and I think it bothers him. I tried explaining real heartache to him. Heartache for me is hearing about Justin going out with other girls when we had just broken up a year ago. And then when we started sleeping together again back in November-December and he was talking to that Rachel chick who was 12 years his junior. I told her we were fucking and he got all pissed off at me and told me he wanted to stop seeing me. Him choosing a girl he barely knew over ME who had been there for him for 4 years. That's heartbreak for you. And you can't not want to know what's going on b/w them and you don't want to know at the same time. It makes you cry. I was so upset. But eventually, towards the end of our relationship a month and a half ago I learned how to stop crying over the things Justin does. True, when I talked to him after we had broken up, two weeks later, I threw up I was so upset. I couldn't believe it was over, and my realization that it was over is what made me vomit. He thought I was throwing up b/c he thought I was doing it to lose weight. I said no, i'm upset over you. I loved Justin so much and I hope I can love someone as much as I did with him. I loved him more than Sal. And I didn't think that was possible. If it doesn't work out with this guy, I'm just going to work on myself more. Lose the weight. I'm only going to weigh myself once a month and I'm gonna do that at home and at Curves. Breathe-Sweat-Walk, whatdya say? I'm listening to Pandora again. Weighing myself almost every other day was pissing me off.

Anyways, I've been reading like crazy lately. I finished 2 books I expected to read down the shore in 2 weeks. So I'm taking my time with this next one. It's a sequel to the one I just read. Something Borrowed. This one is called Something Blue. I already like it. Hmph... why can't I be going down the shore this coming week and not later? Oh well. And then I'm going to the Phillies game on the 30th. I can't fucking wait. I hope they're back in their winning streak.

anyways, I'm gonna finish cleaning the apartment and take the trash out... I may watch the notebook later cos I got it on DVD. And I have to get ready for my psych apptment.
-Laura

Woke up

Just woke up a bit ago. Thinking about going back to sleep. I talked to my friend on the phone last night for the 2nd time but I feel so embarassed b/c I was so half asleep when talking to him. I'm gonna text him about it. Otherwise, nothing exciting has been going on. I slept the whole day yesterday. I think I"m finally catching up on sleep. Finally.

I finished my book and I also read the Notebook so I'm gonna start reading "Something Borrowed" now and I'm sure I'll be taking it down the shore to read. The Notebook only took me really a few hours to read b/w 2 days.

Anyways, back to bed for me. Just wanted to post a quick update. =)
-Laura