Today is the day... isnt that a band?

Anyways, today is the day I finally see my psych. I worked out for the first time today, gonna work out to a DVD in my living room a little bit later. I have to go to my parent's after my psych apptment and then do some research for this paper I'm working on.
Anyways, I've been able to sleep the past few nights. I really think it has something to do w/ the caffeine content in my day. When I drink caffeine it seems I can't sleep. And it's caffeine in tea. So I'm trying to limit it to no caffeine after 4-5 pm... I've been falling asleep really easily lately. The day I posted last I took 75 mg's of Elavil and I slept the entire day until 8pm... That's craziness... I hate when I do that... I like this going to bed and waking up around 1030-11am... I wanna try and start waking up by 930-10am... so like an hour's difference... I'll work on it... Thursday I gotta be up earlier to maybe go work out at Curves and then to go to my parent's house then to the dentist... my parent's are going to Florida to visit my brother... so I am taking care of the house from Thursday-Sunday evening. Thursday night I'm going to see Orphan with a new guy. I hope it works out, cos yes, he is my crush. =)

As for that, Matt has been throwing what this guy called a "temper tantrum". I never should have slept with him. Ever since then he has been super clingy to me. He plays games and he even went to the ER for Insomnia. It's like hellllllllllllllo... you're the one who makes people on Medicaid look bad. Nicole was seriously pissed off about it. I got pissed off too. I told him he was acting like a baby going to the ER for stupid things. It's b/c he's bored cos his Daddy took away his internet connection at his apartment, so he has nothing to do when he wakes up or can't get to sleep in the middle of the night. It's like, do what I do, and read. He's not allowed to use my computer anymore, even down the shore, because he looked at porn on it, on my aircard! Pissed me off so much. But he thinks he can get mad at me for liking another guy. I've vented much of this frustration to other people, but still... he gets upset, when he's talking to other girls! But see, I don't give a rats ass about that, and I think it bothers him. I tried explaining real heartache to him. Heartache for me is hearing about Justin going out with other girls when we had just broken up a year ago. And then when we started sleeping together again back in November-December and he was talking to that Rachel chick who was 12 years his junior. I told her we were fucking and he got all pissed off at me and told me he wanted to stop seeing me. Him choosing a girl he barely knew over ME who had been there for him for 4 years. That's heartbreak for you. And you can't not want to know what's going on b/w them and you don't want to know at the same time. It makes you cry. I was so upset. But eventually, towards the end of our relationship a month and a half ago I learned how to stop crying over the things Justin does. True, when I talked to him after we had broken up, two weeks later, I threw up I was so upset. I couldn't believe it was over, and my realization that it was over is what made me vomit. He thought I was throwing up b/c he thought I was doing it to lose weight. I said no, i'm upset over you. I loved Justin so much and I hope I can love someone as much as I did with him. I loved him more than Sal. And I didn't think that was possible. If it doesn't work out with this guy, I'm just going to work on myself more. Lose the weight. I'm only going to weigh myself once a month and I'm gonna do that at home and at Curves. Breathe-Sweat-Walk, whatdya say? I'm listening to Pandora again. Weighing myself almost every other day was pissing me off.

Anyways, I've been reading like crazy lately. I finished 2 books I expected to read down the shore in 2 weeks. So I'm taking my time with this next one. It's a sequel to the one I just read. Something Borrowed. This one is called Something Blue. I already like it. Hmph... why can't I be going down the shore this coming week and not later? Oh well. And then I'm going to the Phillies game on the 30th. I can't fucking wait. I hope they're back in their winning streak.

anyways, I'm gonna finish cleaning the apartment and take the trash out... I may watch the notebook later cos I got it on DVD. And I have to get ready for my psych apptment.
-Laura

Blah blah blah and more blah...

Watching Conan, and waiting for my friend to sign on. I hope he does. I would like to talk to him tonight if possible. I hope he signs on. I just ate a salad for dinner. I have some frozen yogurt that I'm gonna eat later. I have decided that in order to finish my book I'm going to read 10 pages a day. It'll take me 8 days cos I have 80 pages left.

I somehow lost a bunch of followers on Twitter but I think it's because I haven't been using it as much as I was. I lost like 50 followers. I don't even know who since I don't look to see who is following me. I need to get back into the hang of posting on Twitter.

So at Curves, I got everything set up. I'm on the smart training program again and I worked out there today. I didn't work out yesterday because I woke up at 6pm and was sore. I could've gone I guess, but I was tired. I was tired today too, and I could have taken an energy supplement but I didn't.

I don't know if Matt reads this or not, but sometimes he's so intense it's hard for me to deal. I don't know why he likes me so much. I think he's just having trouble letting go.

I think I'm gonna start using this blog to log my workouts. Today I worked out at Curves. There's my log for today. I didn't do any extra cardio, but I will next week when I go. And I plan on going to the Y to swim on Sunday, and tomorrow I'll use my treadmill and do floor work.

My friend texted me and said his computer is giving him trouble, so hopefully he'll be on shortly. I like him. *Blush* Yes, I have a crush. Go me!
-Laura
ps- I want to talk about my brother's divorce, but I think I'll leave the ranting and raving about what a bitch Elizabeth Poli is for later.

Curves

So today, after my GI appointment I'm going to return to Curves. As well as work out on my own. But I'm going to be going to a different Curves. I'll be going to the one on 309. The hours for the Curves near me kinda suck, but oh well. It's only a half hour of strength training. And that's what I need right now. My diet seems to not really be working the way I want it to. I need to eat more veggies at night like I was doing before. And watch my intake of carbs. Still, I've made some progress so far.

Anyways, I have been having trouble sleeping. I had to take a second Ativan last night in order to get to sleep. I don't like this having trouble sleeping thing, so I'm thinking of bringing Elavil back into the picture. Just 10 mg's of it. Maybe 20mg's. I'll see what I have left... The Melatonin hasn't been helping. I thought it was at first, but it seems to go off and on with helping me. Some nights I can sleep with it, other nights I can't, so I don't know if I'm gonna continue taking it.

Cool, Pandora radio is playing Alice in Chains.

Anyways, cross your fingers for me. I'm not gonna reveal why, but I think something good may be starting for me. =)

Oh and they're looking into my grade. I'll probably end up with no change. Or kicked out of school or something. Even though I didn't plagiarize. At least I appealed the grade though. I gotta start to work on my paper for the class I'm in now. I'll probably start that tomorrow.

Anyways, time for me to get dressed and stuff for the doctor and then Curves.
-Laura
ps- oh yes! Pandora is playing my new favorite Metallica song: The Day That Never Comes.