So my psychiatrist was an asshole to me today because my Mom had me bringing him forms to fill in... he made me cry... i didn't even get to talk to him today about anything that's been going on... about the horrendous sleeping problem, and when I told him I don't think I'm bipolar he says that's what I used as my reason for getting a certain thing I won't mention... he like threw it back in my face... like, why are you this then? I hate it when people take their displaced anger out on me...
AND THEN: I check my google mail and find that I was found guilty of plagiarism. I got some stupid long speech on how to write papers and how serious plagiarism is and that it can go on my academic record. So I'm praying this paper I'm writing now doesn't come back as plagiarized. Most of it is in my own words. A few sentences here and there that couldn't really be changed are in there.
I wrote a nasty letter back to the guy saying FINALLY I hear something and that I don't think that he and the other two teachers involved *If you want to call them that- they taught me nothing- seriously, what do online "teachers" really teach? I do all the work on my own. I teach myself* and that the other two involved don't seem to realize sometimes same sentences have to be used. It's a thin line, that they made even thinner.
As you can probably tell I'm pissed off, and I'm wi*DELETED*-- I don't want to get kicked out of the University for my thoughts right now. NO MORE TEARS.
Not a good day. Started good. But now is sucking. But talking to Dan will hopefully make me feel better. Sad but true is on right now. I've been hungry all day but haven't been able to eat.
-Laura
Showing posts with label psychiatrist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychiatrist. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Today is the day... isnt that a band?
Anyways, today is the day I finally see my psych. I worked out for the first time today, gonna work out to a DVD in my living room a little bit later. I have to go to my parent's after my psych apptment and then do some research for this paper I'm working on.
Anyways, I've been able to sleep the past few nights. I really think it has something to do w/ the caffeine content in my day. When I drink caffeine it seems I can't sleep. And it's caffeine in tea. So I'm trying to limit it to no caffeine after 4-5 pm... I've been falling asleep really easily lately. The day I posted last I took 75 mg's of Elavil and I slept the entire day until 8pm... That's craziness... I hate when I do that... I like this going to bed and waking up around 1030-11am... I wanna try and start waking up by 930-10am... so like an hour's difference... I'll work on it... Thursday I gotta be up earlier to maybe go work out at Curves and then to go to my parent's house then to the dentist... my parent's are going to Florida to visit my brother... so I am taking care of the house from Thursday-Sunday evening. Thursday night I'm going to see Orphan with a new guy. I hope it works out, cos yes, he is my crush. =)
As for that, Matt has been throwing what this guy called a "temper tantrum". I never should have slept with him. Ever since then he has been super clingy to me. He plays games and he even went to the ER for Insomnia. It's like hellllllllllllllo... you're the one who makes people on Medicaid look bad. Nicole was seriously pissed off about it. I got pissed off too. I told him he was acting like a baby going to the ER for stupid things. It's b/c he's bored cos his Daddy took away his internet connection at his apartment, so he has nothing to do when he wakes up or can't get to sleep in the middle of the night. It's like, do what I do, and read. He's not allowed to use my computer anymore, even down the shore, because he looked at porn on it, on my aircard! Pissed me off so much. But he thinks he can get mad at me for liking another guy. I've vented much of this frustration to other people, but still... he gets upset, when he's talking to other girls! But see, I don't give a rats ass about that, and I think it bothers him. I tried explaining real heartache to him. Heartache for me is hearing about Justin going out with other girls when we had just broken up a year ago. And then when we started sleeping together again back in November-December and he was talking to that Rachel chick who was 12 years his junior. I told her we were fucking and he got all pissed off at me and told me he wanted to stop seeing me. Him choosing a girl he barely knew over ME who had been there for him for 4 years. That's heartbreak for you. And you can't not want to know what's going on b/w them and you don't want to know at the same time. It makes you cry. I was so upset. But eventually, towards the end of our relationship a month and a half ago I learned how to stop crying over the things Justin does. True, when I talked to him after we had broken up, two weeks later, I threw up I was so upset. I couldn't believe it was over, and my realization that it was over is what made me vomit. He thought I was throwing up b/c he thought I was doing it to lose weight. I said no, i'm upset over you. I loved Justin so much and I hope I can love someone as much as I did with him. I loved him more than Sal. And I didn't think that was possible. If it doesn't work out with this guy, I'm just going to work on myself more. Lose the weight. I'm only going to weigh myself once a month and I'm gonna do that at home and at Curves. Breathe-Sweat-Walk, whatdya say? I'm listening to Pandora again. Weighing myself almost every other day was pissing me off.
Anyways, I've been reading like crazy lately. I finished 2 books I expected to read down the shore in 2 weeks. So I'm taking my time with this next one. It's a sequel to the one I just read. Something Borrowed. This one is called Something Blue. I already like it. Hmph... why can't I be going down the shore this coming week and not later? Oh well. And then I'm going to the Phillies game on the 30th. I can't fucking wait. I hope they're back in their winning streak.
anyways, I'm gonna finish cleaning the apartment and take the trash out... I may watch the notebook later cos I got it on DVD. And I have to get ready for my psych apptment.
-Laura
Anyways, I've been able to sleep the past few nights. I really think it has something to do w/ the caffeine content in my day. When I drink caffeine it seems I can't sleep. And it's caffeine in tea. So I'm trying to limit it to no caffeine after 4-5 pm... I've been falling asleep really easily lately. The day I posted last I took 75 mg's of Elavil and I slept the entire day until 8pm... That's craziness... I hate when I do that... I like this going to bed and waking up around 1030-11am... I wanna try and start waking up by 930-10am... so like an hour's difference... I'll work on it... Thursday I gotta be up earlier to maybe go work out at Curves and then to go to my parent's house then to the dentist... my parent's are going to Florida to visit my brother... so I am taking care of the house from Thursday-Sunday evening. Thursday night I'm going to see Orphan with a new guy. I hope it works out, cos yes, he is my crush. =)
As for that, Matt has been throwing what this guy called a "temper tantrum". I never should have slept with him. Ever since then he has been super clingy to me. He plays games and he even went to the ER for Insomnia. It's like hellllllllllllllo... you're the one who makes people on Medicaid look bad. Nicole was seriously pissed off about it. I got pissed off too. I told him he was acting like a baby going to the ER for stupid things. It's b/c he's bored cos his Daddy took away his internet connection at his apartment, so he has nothing to do when he wakes up or can't get to sleep in the middle of the night. It's like, do what I do, and read. He's not allowed to use my computer anymore, even down the shore, because he looked at porn on it, on my aircard! Pissed me off so much. But he thinks he can get mad at me for liking another guy. I've vented much of this frustration to other people, but still... he gets upset, when he's talking to other girls! But see, I don't give a rats ass about that, and I think it bothers him. I tried explaining real heartache to him. Heartache for me is hearing about Justin going out with other girls when we had just broken up a year ago. And then when we started sleeping together again back in November-December and he was talking to that Rachel chick who was 12 years his junior. I told her we were fucking and he got all pissed off at me and told me he wanted to stop seeing me. Him choosing a girl he barely knew over ME who had been there for him for 4 years. That's heartbreak for you. And you can't not want to know what's going on b/w them and you don't want to know at the same time. It makes you cry. I was so upset. But eventually, towards the end of our relationship a month and a half ago I learned how to stop crying over the things Justin does. True, when I talked to him after we had broken up, two weeks later, I threw up I was so upset. I couldn't believe it was over, and my realization that it was over is what made me vomit. He thought I was throwing up b/c he thought I was doing it to lose weight. I said no, i'm upset over you. I loved Justin so much and I hope I can love someone as much as I did with him. I loved him more than Sal. And I didn't think that was possible. If it doesn't work out with this guy, I'm just going to work on myself more. Lose the weight. I'm only going to weigh myself once a month and I'm gonna do that at home and at Curves. Breathe-Sweat-Walk, whatdya say? I'm listening to Pandora again. Weighing myself almost every other day was pissing me off.
Anyways, I've been reading like crazy lately. I finished 2 books I expected to read down the shore in 2 weeks. So I'm taking my time with this next one. It's a sequel to the one I just read. Something Borrowed. This one is called Something Blue. I already like it. Hmph... why can't I be going down the shore this coming week and not later? Oh well. And then I'm going to the Phillies game on the 30th. I can't fucking wait. I hope they're back in their winning streak.
anyways, I'm gonna finish cleaning the apartment and take the trash out... I may watch the notebook later cos I got it on DVD. And I have to get ready for my psych apptment.
-Laura
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