mulder...

*the title is because xfiles king mulder is on satc*
I don't think grandparents should be kept away from their grandchildren just because the parents aren't together. I'm watching SATC again as usual on DVD and I don't think it's right that Steve's mom hasn't met Brady. I think she should have met him when he was born. I don't think it's right for a parent who is mad at their baby mama or baby daddy that they keep their children away from them. It's just my opinion. I used to get really emotional about this episode and being hurt and not believing anymore in love but I believe in it now in certain ways. I was desperate to have someone around so I got into an abusive relationship instead of sticking with the guy who treated me like a queen. And now I have Matthias. I love calling him that, lol.
I will finish this later...
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Honesty in relationships is so important. I give credit to Matt for being honest with me. He needed to be. And I will be honest with him. Usually things don't bother me unless you keep it from me then lie about it.
Anyways, I had a big lunch. A sandwich and some baked chips and some low sugar cookies. I'll have to really watch what I eat for dinner tonight but I planned on doing that anyways. I didn't go to the gym today but I will tomorrow. I did a lot of walking at the game on Monday. We went to the Spectrum Grill at Xfinity live instead of the Broad Street Bullies pub which is a fun place to watch the Flyers games. It was really expensive. I thought it was good but a bit salty. Gail thought the mushrooms and onions were salty too. Matt had a steak which is usually salty anyways. Matt spent a lot of money on me that night and I'm grateful. I had a good time even tho they lost. Wish we had gone last night cos Hamels had a complete game and did sooooooo well. He had a shutout. Kelsey got to go last night.
Poor Carrie is freaking out about Big having surgery. I know what it's like to care about someone so much that anyone or anything hurting them hurts you as well. I feel that way about a lot of my friends and family. Oh joy, Kristin Cavalarri or however the fuck you spell her name had her kid. I'm sure it's beautiful but really, I don't care. Anyways, the past week I have been going to bed kinda late for me lately cos I've been out so much but tonight I want to go to bed by 10pm. I don't want to sleep my morning away again. I need to get up and get to the gym. So tomorrow, that's my plan. In the fall I would like to get back to the YMCA and use the pool and the elliptical machine. For now, the stepper is fine. It's good for your legs and it is good cardio. I want to run stairs as well. That is hard as fuck. Even when I was like gym queen that kicked my ass and a friend of mine at the gym used the stairclimber everyday and would put it on like impossible resistance. Needless to say, she had an incredible body. After I get back from vacay I am going to start a diet at the gym with the help of a trainer. So i won't be able to go out to eat as much which isn't really a problem. I think it will help, even tho I never really eat much food anymore except for today's lunch.
haha, the nurse on SATC thought Big was Carrie's husband. People think me and Matt are married all the time and we never correct them. Even at CBP people call us husband and wife. It's only a matter of time before that is spot on. *I follow all the NY teams...*--too bad they SUCK.
Oooh loreal has a new mascara called Power Volume... I may have to go out and get that. I thought about getting the Maybelline plush mascara but I like the size of this one's brush. And DiorShow Blackout mascara is just not in the works to being affordable right now so I'll have to go with cheaper stuff. It works anyways, just takes a bit more work to get the same effects.
Anyways, I finished Babyville the other day and started "Prep" by some chick named curtis sittenfeld. I haven't really been too dedicated to reading it yet and I plan on watching the SATC movie at 4. Well, the beginning of it cos I saw the end a few days ago. Or maybe I won't watch it and I'll read for a while. Today is a lazy day. I am getting sick of watching tv right now, so I think I'm going to wrap this up and go read for a while. Thanks for reading!-laura

So Happy I Could Die and It's Alright

I haven't written in a while. Just haven't really felt like it. My moods have been low recently. They always get like this at the approach of spring. I don't know why. It's really warm out today, and I don't know. I was enjoying being in my car with the AC cranked. Not that I like the winter or anything, I think it sucks and I'm excited baseball season is just about upon us *marvelous in FL by the way* but I don't know. A lot of shit has got me down, especially the prospect of not being able to go to my --- okay my computer turned off right there... ridiculous, yes... and I don't know why... I swear if my computer crashes Dell is going to get an earful...

Anyways, the prospect of not being able to go to my brother's graduation because of my sleeping patterns. I can't sleep and when I do sleep it's for a long period of time to make up for my lack of sleep the other times.

Most of you who are important know what diet plan I'm on. I somehow managed to lose 14 lbs from early January to early March, and then added another 4 lbs last week. I'm following a program. I haven't thrown working out into it yet because I've just been so exhausted. What I don't understand is the people who exercise and shit and don't eat clean. Someone is bbq'ing outside right now, I can smell it, but I have to follow this for now. Even if I am hungry. Okay, now it just smells like the charcoals burning and it smells close by. At least it's not the smell of the Hatfield plant which is just disgusting.

I'm not going to talk about my "relationship" cos that's not what this blog is really for. "You can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest, that I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, knowing that I must pass this test, so just pull the trigger..."-- Russian Roullette... Rihanna

Ah, I gotta do homework. I have a rough draft of a paper due tomorrow and I haven't started that yet. Plus the quiz and responding to people on the discussion board. My favorite topic was this week: Personality Disorders. Hopefully, my financial documents got to Ashford in time and I can take the Intro to Clinical Psychology course I want that starts during the last week of this course. I should write most of my paper now, even though I don't feel like it, because then I won't have to do so much when the classes overlap.

Anyways, I get weighed on Tuesday, so hopefully I dropped some more weight. I plan on throwing some intervals into the mix. Just a bit of cardio. When I used to binge on cardio I used to also binge on food. Even though I looked good, I still had issues with eating. I don't want to get back to that.

Let's go Phillies!
Thanks for reading.
-Laura